Evidently I have the light and don’t even know it. Jesus is working through me, and I don’t even know it. Twice this week I had brief discussions about my non belief, and twice my mere countenance was attributed to Jesus working through me. And I would be a Christian if I understood the message. I am a “Christian unaware”. (Billy the kid 2nd left in a rare photo with Pat Garret on right)
But see the reason I’m not Christian is that I do understand the doctrine. I also understand the control mechanisms at work. I also understand that if I pray, nothing ever happens unless you look really hard for subtle non existent hints that your prayer was answered in some way other than what you wanted. For your own good. I also know I can get spiritual followers by telling big emotional lies that mimic the spirit. I also understand that to make sense of it takes a lot of hairsplitting explanations and then you have to just decide to believe it because that is the only way it makes sense.