Celestial Hell. Heaven can Wait

I married young in the church. It was a mistake from the get go (should’ve listened to my atheist brother) but three kids and 6 years later we divorced. She left for me an old boyfriend and she went party crazy for the next 30 years. At 26 I married again in the church. I was very active and dedicated to the lord. He ran my life. But she was a “raging-bitch-lunatic- foam-at–the-mouth-kinda gal and I just couldn’t take another year. 17 years of mortal hell. I was done. Against the clergies council I filed for divorce. (I helped un-answer many prayers during my departure). Two Mormon women. Sealed to me for time and all eternity. I married a 3rd woman 10 years ago who I love and will be with til the end. She gave being Mormon a try, but since then the two ex-wives have gotten active and have strayed back into the church. I walked away from religion a few years ago with my wife and today we are atheists. Problem is the other two still think I’m going to be their husband in the next life if they stay faithful. They both have even told my current wife “we’re going to be Jim’s trio” in heaven. (Me NOT pictured below)

My wife had a good laugh (while I was having brief thoughts of suicide). We were never temple sealed and thank Prometheus I got out when I did.. Lord Jesus Hear My Prayer!! NO THANK YOU!!! Thought you could all use good laugh today at my expense as I dodge the imaginary bullet of eternal “Big Love”.


Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

24 thoughts on “Celestial Hell. Heaven can Wait”

  1. Two miserable ex-wives waiting to pounce on me in the afterlife would make me reject it also. Be well. Hugs


  2. Wow, That is some crazy stuff. lol I guess it should be a compliment that your ex-wives want to spend eternity with you, though an eternity with two nagging ex-wives would truly be hell. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think that they want to. It’s just that they’ve been told that it will happen, and they’ve unthinkingly, unquestioningly accepted it. The fact that they use it to score social one-upmanship points here on Earth, kinda shows that it’s not Heavenly ordained. 😯


  3. Sounds like your ex wives are hanging on for the blessings that are to yet to come from this eternal contract from hell.
    Just think back to the day you stood there with the mirrors showing you how forever looked. The image that comes to mind is the opening scene of a scary 1970’s movie.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Occaisionally. Sometimes I got spit in my eye.

            You can argue logic with a bi polar beast till you are blue in the gills, but they never want to hear the truth.


  4. When I first deconverted (2015) I sought help at an online Mormon recovery forum. The ex-christian forums did not adequately address the level/intensity of devout catholicism I was raised with…but many of the ex-mormons were familiar with that level of intensity in their religious beliefs. I never commented much but I learned tons from them. I remember when I first heard the concept of “families are forever” I was overcome with nauseousness. I guess it could work if your family is functional and gets along, but for the rest of us, that sounds like hell and not heaven! The mormon church might be a bit misguided about using that as one of their slogans. Not that I should talk…the catholic church was so misguided and corrupt all their sins would fill up the f’ing universe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m working on a piece right now about why Mormons make good atheists. The actual similarities are pretty stunning when you look at the ideas of matter and being alive before and after this life. Should be done in a week probably

      Liked by 1 person

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