Celestial Hell. Heaven can Wait

I married young in the church. It was a mistake from the get go (should’ve listened to my atheist brother) but three kids and 6 years later we divorced. She left for me an old boyfriend and she went party crazy for the next 30 years. At 26 I married again in the church. I was very active and dedicated to the lord. He ran my life. But she was a “raging-bitch-lunatic- foam-at–the-mouth-kinda gal and I just couldn’t take another year. 17 years of mortal hell. I was done. Against the clergies council I filed for divorce. (I helped un-answer many prayers during my departure). Two Mormon women. Sealed to me for time and all eternity. I married a 3rd woman 10 years ago who I love and will be with til the end. She gave being Mormon a try, but since then the two ex-wives have gotten active and have strayed back into the church. I walked away from religion a few years ago with my wife and today we are atheists. Problem is the other two still think I’m going to be their husband in the next life if they stay faithful. They both have even told my current wife “we’re going to be Jim’s trio” in heaven. (Me NOT pictured below)

My wife had a good laugh (while I was having brief thoughts of suicide). We were never temple sealed and thank Prometheus I got out when I did.. Lord Jesus Hear My Prayer!! NO THANK YOU!!! Thought you could all use good laugh today at my expense as I dodge the imaginary bullet of eternal “Big Love”.