Honesty and Christian apologetics is the fifty first shade of grey. Advancing the lords work requires the utmost skill and knowledge, and serious fudging of the truth from time to time. “I don’t know” is an ok answer, but confirming any personal doubt or lack of knowledge is not the apologist way. No chink in the armor of god can be displayed.
As I can only speak for myself, here is why I immersed myself in apologetics–Doubt, Doubt, Doubt! Doubt is what puts you into apologetics. After many years of innocent faith you investigate below the surface and come to the crossroads of doubt. Next, spend the rest of your life trying to prove you’re not naive and gullible. I spent 20 years reading Qumran, Nag Hammadi, Dead Sea scrolls, and miles of Bible commentary and scripture trying to find proof and validation. I never did. But in Christianity the conversion process is to “believe” before you know the details, then apologetics takes the rest of your life wading through cleverly worded arguments trying to prove yourself right. Faith, them knowledge, then doubt, is the fuel that keeps Christian apologetics alive. And doubt is inevitable when there is no substance but supernatural hearsay.
TheCommonAtheist 
Apologetics to me seems a defense mechanism. A way to stem ones own doubts, and at the same time bolster others who have their own doubt. Or for the con men who are perpetrating the scam, a way to keep the doubtful believers in line, and dropping $ in the coffers.
We all have defense mechanisms, rationalizing our way through life, it is a natural response. At least until (some of us) see that rationalizing is not a good way to get through life.
Having been a tobbaco addict for probably 25 years, I can tell you there is a little demon in all of our heads trying to persuade us against our good senses. The moment you think “I am getting sick of cigarettes, I should probably quit” that little bastard whispers in your ear, “not today though, I have a lot of stressful things to do.” I suspect all addicts of all stripes suffer the same issue.
I think it is similar with religion in a sense. Except apologetics IS the little demon telling you your doubt is misguided, you should probably get back to church and smoke another jeebus cigarette.
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Ah, hearsay. My new favorite word since leaving Christianity. The words that used to comfort me no longer do. The words that I used to point at as proof, I now see for what they are. Hearsay. Ancient hearsay from anonymous authors, no less. Some proof, huh? As Thomas Paine noted in his book, “The Age of Reason” when referring to a story from within the Bible (specifically the virgin birth story for this quote), ” It is hearsay upon hearsay, and I do not choose to rest my belief on such evidence.” Well said, Mr. Paine. Neither do I.
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I am glad you found your way Jim. I enjoy your thoughts you post, and also with talking with you. Best wishes. Hugs
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Igualmente Scottie!!
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Dude, obviously you attended the wrong church when you were a child. I was so very fortunate to have had parents with, as far as I could tell, little interest in religion and sent me to the closest church to our house. I say, “let’s hear it for the Presbyterians. At the tender age of nine they had my bullsh*t meter clanging. The Theater, for when your dead, they called a church was to creepy to handle so I begged off after the first year. Thanks mom and dad.
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A thought. When first converted, all is heaven and love and Jesus and God and prayer and miracles and healings and the bible and …
But then somewhere along the way … very, very subtly … a teeny, tiny bit of doubt creeps in. No matter how much you try to push it down, it keeps popping up. You ask your church leader, s/he says … “God works in mysterious ways” … and hands you a book by an apologist. Ahhh … now it all becomes clear because SURELY this “godly” person has the inside scoop. So you push down the doubt and go out to tell the world how you found THE TRUTH. And you keep telling them. Again and again and again … until even YOU become convinced it’s TRUE.
And therein lies the story of the average Christian.
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It does require frequent reassurance because it requires a dizzying intellect to make sense of each point. You see Scottie trying grasp the virgin birth thing, it comes at you from all angles and no one agrees on any of the official stances. You must acquiesce to convert, or just not learn the doctrine. Then when they have kids they really indoctrinate to hedge off the doubt in the littles. Making it very difficult to see their way out of the nonsense.
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