Born into a certain lair, depending on to who from where, was raised into a strict belief, that if well followed would cause relief. A way of life so grand it’s said, to have raised up living from the dead, and if believed with all my heart, life would light the often dark.
Applied my self into the way, paid my tithes and learned to pray, read the book and proved all things, and stayed high in religions rings, then somehow many years had past, and things weren’t adding up so fast.
Some doubts were hushed and hard to say, was I the lone who felt this way? When I would list but a concern, read more scripture you will learn, apply your faith and don’t surrender, hope is where the life will render.
And so It was, I began again.
Doubling down I did my best, and to the lord I took a test, to verify most carefully, his book of words and then I’d see, but by and by the search from me, had eyes that crossed with dotted tees, and woeful were the histories. I read and pondered every verse, the lord it seemed he was a curse, to opened eyes on every verse, things are not what they seemed.
And so I prayed
In earnest gave I the lord my plea, invested years in him you see, certain that a faithful soul, could hear his word if truth be told. Wanting to believe the words, that marked the pages so absurd, to say I needed little reason, but just one would do.
Retiring to a quiet thicket, the lords voice came by sound of crickets.
It all unraveled very fast, not a thing or two would come to pass, as soon as opened eyes could see, deceived by friends and trusted creeds, that one who thought as smart as me, could fall into a trap so deep, set by ones who cared for me. If only just one part was right, I could continue in the fight, but no god hears the words you say, but alas its hope that traps with faith.
An interesting way to describe your journey. I am glad you did, I would miss the Jim I am coming to know if you had not made your journey. Best wishes. Hugs
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It’s true. No prayer is ever answered.
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I was told to just try harder, then I was trying to hard, but in the end making endless excuses for failed religion got tiresome.
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It’s the age old advice. Try harder, be patient, never lose faith. It’s like hypnosis. Constant compelling.
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Being duped by the duped. Just looking at it all without another to sit there and spell it all out with excuses is all one needs. Just a little time alone.
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Yep. You’re right.
You’re great at rhyming words, btw.
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Very nice Jim. I’m not so great when attempting poetry…If I only I could write words so sweet, to fill a blog or post a tweet. Rhyming words are not my thing, nor is dance or trying to sing. So in the place of dance or song, I’ll keep on writing blogs too long.
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Very good young padawan. Many have gone this road as I, and never had answers to how or why, just to know your not alone, that all the doubt can bring you home, and find your real self.
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This faith trap has caught far to many people. The worst part is that most of the trapped don’t know they are trapped. It’s a prison disguised as a hotel that people enter into with enthusiasm and wonder. I too was filled with that wonder…until the end of my faith where the only wonder I had was wondering what the hell I was thinking getting myself into this mess.
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I was born in it. Thick too. Here’s my story if you have a minute https://jimoeba.wordpress.com/2017/12/15/why-the-what-have-you-done-for-me-lately-church-is-hard-to-leave/
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That was a crazy story Jim. I wasn’t born into it, though my parents told me about God and Jesus at a very young age. They never brought me to church. A friend of mine invited me to a church event at 14 where I was “saved” but never attended church regularly until I was about 20 or 21. Then it was off and on until my mid thirties. Then I left the church and tried Christianity on my own for a few years, but without the church telling me how to interpret things, I finally found truth. Now I’m here, boring all of you with my story.
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It is deep indoctrination and that is just the beginning. They put crap in your head that messes with you. The youth handbook tells the kids masturbation is a sin next to murder. No wonder 65% of Utahns are on antidepressants. Leads all other religions in the happy people church
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That’s just insane. The whole “all sins are equal” thing always confused me. Premarital sex was considered just as bad as when someone killed another person. It’s not just the church of LDS but also every other denomination. All denominations are messed up too, just in their own way. Some are just more messed up than others. Snake handling and genital mutilation, and no they’re not the same thing 😉 are just as strange as drinking blood and eating flesh. It’s all nuts.
Somehow these things that would be ridiculous in any other setting are somehow okay if they happen in a church. I mean, if I saw one of my kids eating crackers and they said they were pretending it was the flesh of someone else and then they washed it down with their blood, I would seek immediate help. That’s not a child being righteous, that is a child being crazy and crazy needs professional help.
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Ahem. You just wrote a teaser to a hundred years worth of apologetic debate.
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Possibly. Better get Mel in here quick to set me straight
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SQUACK! Vapid Blowhard. Fair enough?
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Sounds more like Branyan but I guess second in command is close enough 🙂
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Yes they are quite a pair
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Tubularsock’s journey is from in to out.
What already is without a doubt.
But everyone’s path is paved differently.
And Tubularsock looks for simplicity.
To complicate with priests and saints
Only adds more money to the banks.
Cheers.
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Very nicely done. It is BIG money as you say, and rightly done is pray pay and obey.
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Great poetry! And considering the subject … even better! 👍
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Well done. Your writing is quite versatile.
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Thanks Ron. I also have a dedicated poetry site. Sometimes I hit it pretty good, and sometimes … not.
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Meh. They can’t all be great. Even the literary giants create their fair share of stinkers.
But this was definitely an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it.
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I did like the “eyes were crossed and dotted t’s bit. Lol. What do you think of this one from a while back?
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Jim that was great. No need to accept indoctrinated fate.
Crickets indeed. We all have a little voice in our heads, some come to think it is divinely inspired.
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Another difficulty is being taught heavily as a child that “one true religion” crap. Headstrong and wrong! I ate some heavy doses of crow, but now I eat my crow as a side dish now and then with a little bowl of dip.
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I always like to follow my crow with some humble pie 🙂 We all make mistakes, it’s how we handle them is what makes us the who we are.
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I know quite a few guys in the faith that know it’s BS, but stay in it out of fear. Don’t want to disappoint so they live their life in chains. It’s good to be in a path that was meant for me, and not another’s ideal.
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I cannot imagine living a life as you describe. If I had to sacrifice my intellectual freedom to conform to an ideology I could not accept, I just don’t know how many complexes that would create. I’d be sick of myself in no time and looking for a way out, and damn the consequences.
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I was carefully guided through every phase of life, and spoonfed just the right info. It did give me pretty good ammo to be an irreligious atheist writ though. lol
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Well, to rip off the religious “everything happens for a reason” thing… I prefer “shit happpens” in general, but you get my drift 🙂
You are well equipped with your history. And are putting it to good use.
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Dude jim, I loved that!
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Thanks. After being born into it very very deep, one day I just got tired of excuses and took a look. Many of the followers to my site were instrumental in putting sense to my ridiculous spew. I shut off all contact and took three weeks to think it all through. Not one point was as it was propped up to be. I walked away.
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I had the same experience things just didn’t seem to line up anymore
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Not like they ever did, but when I sort through the excuses without someone over your shoulder it was really quite telling. Nothing at all was as it was said. Exact opposite In fact.
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I’m trying to stay disciplined and write my story from beginning to end but I really want to be at the hospice experience now. Is there a way to hyperlink each part with a brief description? So people can just jump to the part that stands out to them
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