If Jesus Was Truly a Carpenter

Many if you may know I am also a carpenter. My dad was a carpenter too, and since those days have built six of my own homes. I am pretty proud of having designed all of them, and also did most of the work. The house we are in now was done by myself. Plans, foundation, framing, wiring, plumbing, everything. Here is the first house I designed and built in 1996 when I was 33. Still a favorite.

When Jesus was 33 he was just finishing a teaching gig. He gave up carpentry work to preach full time. Preaching full time makes most people a little batty, and historically is a dangerous profession because your always in other people’s business or trying to prove them wrong in their own house.

Jesus was supposedly a carpenter, and as a god he must have been a doozy. Can you imagine the potential craftsmanship of a god? You could cut any angle just by guessing it. Gold inlays…done! If you had any gap or twisted lumber, just use the spiritual force, or whatever it’s called, to fix it.

In reading the Bible, I’m trying to imagine what a house of his work would look like, based the scriptures he “revealed” to men. This house would be forever incomplete and in a case of constant remodel. Plans would be out of focus and not meeting code using unknown measurements in a foreign language. Each generation of visitors has seen fit to change the layabout at their whims, so much so that the beginnings and the ends are an unrecognizable, incoherent, with vapid, circular architecture of embarrassingly out of square walls that don’t line up and even contradict each other. All opposed by a set of stairways that lead nowhere. I’ve been on jobs where the owner keeps making changes. It comes from bad planning and impractical ideas. There is a reason everyone keeps changing religion. It was a bad idea to begin with.

Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

39 thoughts on “If Jesus Was Truly a Carpenter”

    2. Hahahahaha! But but Ron, Jesus WAS GOD and “designed” everything perfectly EVEN IF we see it as useless and very imperfect!!! It doesn’t matter. That is called “faith.” 🤩

      $$Amen$$ (the angels above sound their trumpets and harps)

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      1. Yes. Christians can grant an explanation for everything. And when they can’t, they play the “mysterious ways” card (i.e. Who can fathom the mind of God?). They’ve got both options covered.

        That’s why I stated Christianity may endure for quite a bit longer on another thread.

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  3. Some carpenter. After 2000 years of waiting, I’m beginning to think this place he went to prepare for us will never get finished. Maybe he never came back because he was a little nervous to tell us that he was “slightly” behind schedule and didn’t know how we’d take it. I’m sure he didn’t want unsatisfied customers who would use word of mouth to tell others to reject his services. I’m sure he really wanted to come back and tell us he nailed it, but after all this time he’s too embarrassed to tell us we’re screwed 🙂

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      1. Sanhedrin
        3 reviews

        ★ 1985 years ago

        Would give no stars, but unfortunately we’re forced to give at least one. Jesus promised to tear down and rebuild the Temple within three days, but never completed the job and left a torn curtain. Found out later he’d failed to pull proper permits and was arrested for causing a disturbance. Totally unreliable. Would never hire again.

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          1. It would have been to late by then, no? Jesus had already signed over the company to Peter and fled the country before Josephus came on to the scene.

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    2. Truth is, Jesus ran into a few snags. He needs bipartisan support for his Heavenly Housing Act, but opponents refuse to sign the deal, saying it would divert funding from Operation Apocalypse. And to complicate matters, Yahweh is threatening to shut down Heaven unless he receives funding to begin building the YUGE chasm between Heaven and Hell required to Make Eternity Great Again.

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    1. Thank you. I still have the plans for that. The misses is thinking she’d like it back. Not sure if I have the energy lol. Building my daughter one as we speak, so my summer is already pretty full.

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      1. Am suitably impressed. I was planning on going to the hardware store to buy some undercoat tomorrow – I need to repaint the two garden benches I built a while back.
        I think I might skip it now and stick with the very rustic, flaky-paint look instead.

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  6. Love that house! Say, since you’re a carpenter, hows about we build a square shaped ark and put two of EVERY kind of animal on it for a 40 day and night adventure at sea? Hell, if Noah could do it back in the day, it should be easy for a carpenter in this day and age, right? 🙂 Love that house, my friend!

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        1. Maybe they had slaves to do that. 8 people were saved, and traditionally they didn’t count women, children, or slaves as people. There is your work force.

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    1. According to the scripture Jesus was a carpenter. I do enjoy building houses, and I am just starting another right now. My daughter and her family are moving out by us and I’m building one for her. I am pretty good at it. This will be #6 for me, although I have worked on a hundred or more, these are houses I’ve built myself.

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        1. Be a bit of a commute to India. No on the contracts. These were for me, then after a few years I’d sell it and build another.

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            3. Not really. I’m a pretty open book, just don’t want to bore anyone. I still have some surprises left good sir. It is hard to talk about ones self without appearing saddled with vanity. I do like to learn about everyone though, and occasionally it’s appropriate to share.

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  9. That is a bee-yoo-tiful house.

    Most carpenters I’ve known get a case of bad knees, so be careful with yourself 🙂

    You know there has always been the claim that jeebus was a carpenter, if that is the case you would think that anyone who had work done by him, would be proud enough to put it in writing someplace… Especially after the way things played out.

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    1. I’m too old to be careful now. Hehe. The house I’m in now was a little different walking the walls. Age has cost me a bit of balance. I did it but it certainly wasn’t as easy as before.

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  10. It’s funny how Jesus was a carpenter yet we never hear about any of the so called ‘epic’ structures he built, I mean, he was God and all. As a thought, how much of the accounts of Jesus do you think are actually true? I mean, I obviously don’t believe in all the miraculous claims, but what about the other stuff?

    Nice house by the way!

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