The periodic table has a new element. Chemist at International Labs London (ILL), have discovered a new compound derived from basic, inert, random samples of ambiguous contradictory neurologic impasses. Failed synapse syndrome, (FSS) has been baffling neuroscience for decades, and removal of this newly discovered element is as easy as flipping a switch in the affected religious parties. Element “B” has an atomic mass and weight of zero, carries no electrons, but has a high affinity to synaptic dead space. Early studies show removal of element B causes instant cognitive restoration, and eliminates test subjects ability to rationalize obvious contradiction.
Test subject volunteers from the Four Square Church and the United States Bible Belt have seen instant results using a osmotic reverse cerebral cleanse, applied in a suppository pill form. Atomizers are currently being developed for nasal administration.
Evangelical chemists at Godwins institute dispute the veracity of the claims, and have directed the institutes science department to consult with Hindu Vedas and Puranas experts to counter the findings. “We know god is in there somewhere”, said one researcher. And, “this Biblio element makes no sense at all” said another. The plea for help dealing with these scientific issues has been ignored.
Frakking brilliant. I hosed myself. This is genuine comedy.
Should we give Branyan a heads up?
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Thanks Ark. Let him know. He’ll be my first patient. This would truly lobotomize him. We’ll have to pitch in for a new binky. He doesn’t follow me anymore since I made him famous in urban dictionary.
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He has banned me, and refuses to talk to me on other blogs. I think I hurt his feelings.
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Why. You ask for proof? Lol. I remember you cursed or something and hurt his feelings.
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I ”blasphemed” on Mel’s blog. Oral sex is a no no in his church … or at least on his blog.
With Branyan it was something else. I can’t even remember to tell the truth. It was last year sometime.
He’s no fun anymore. Way too disturbed these days.
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Well, as you pointed out at your spot today, he is wandered off to worshipping an idea, which is an improvement, butt still crazy
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”butt (sic) still crazy”
Well all I know he is a giant pain in the arse!
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…high affinity to synaptic dead space LOL!
Forget the nasal dispenser, keep it where it is necessary (suppositories) to shove some common sense up their asses. For me? Pretty please? 🙂 🙂
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Enemal cerebral cleanse is for home use only. Free samples are being shipped to Wisconsin, Indiana, and wherever CS and IB live.
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CS and IB both reside in the Neverlands.
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Perfect!!
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Terrific!
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Thanks. So many of these discoveries hide in plain sight for years.
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A truly remarkable breakthrough. It’s also worth mentioning that element B bonds readily with element S (Sulpher) to form a molecular compound known as BS, which is why the suppository from of removal is so effective.
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Hah! Awesome! Truth!
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Bwahahahahaha!!! Ron, that is sheer STANKY brilliance Sir! 🤣
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So yeah, my last name begins with an S. I’ve gone through life being known as BS. This comment just brings back painful memories…nah, just kidding. Pretty funny stuff here Ron.
My initials are actually BS. Probably why I believed Christianity for so long. It had my name written all over it.
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That’s funny Ben
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You have my sympathies. I knew a girl in high school with the initials VD. Needless to say, she suffered a lot of snide remarks.
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I can imagine two guys fighting over her. Their reward for all their efforts? Nothing but VD. May the best man win. 🙂
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Who the heck are evangelical chemists????😂😂😂
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They make up religious dogmas, unmake up fake titles. Would you prefer bishop of sciences? Lol
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You bring up new names everytime. 😂
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Hahahahaha! Outstanding Jim! 🤣
Meanwhile, true Science — atomic, subatomic, Quarks, and Particle Physics are moving BEYOND the Higgs Boson (the God particle, btw LOL) and discovering new, exciting, tangible realities to base our lives on and improve our understanding of life! And the Biblio evangies? They’re still clinging to and struggling to keep existence in antiquated 2,000 year old paradigms. 😂 Say WHAT!!!? 😨
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And we haven’t seen seen halftime yet. The next hundred years will be unbelievable from even today.
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True true! As long as we heathens STAND UP to the religious insane zealots, our species has a chance to avoid extinction! ✊✌️
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Odd that you should mention it, but in a recent post our periodically superfluous interlocutor CS proposes that science may be in error about the source of the moon’s light:
The post ends with a wink but his followup comments grant the impression he was actually being serious.
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Even if you have an entirely plausible explanation, his god did it somehow else with his unlimited superman power. And as he or another was saying, god could light the whole world with his personage. Ive heard that explanation before, and god created the sun and the moon to light the earth because god can’t show himself to mortals. If I follow that in any way, for me god would be made of nuclear fusion. Burning bush, pillar of fire, stood in the midst of the flame. I would suppose at this point that shadrach, meshack, and abednigo died days later of radiation poisoning. This reasoning goes back to show, that nature is our creator, and they want to call it god. The god they describe is not an intelligence based creator, but a natural occurrence that happens in due time everywhere.
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Hahahaha… like our Commander-in-LEAVE in the White House, ColorfulSprinkles is as much a scholar of optics as our orange orangutan is an experienced diplomat. 🙄😖
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I confess that it’s hard to tell the difference between a POE and the real thing anymore. It’s become one of those “the creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which” situations. 🙂
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Hahah I love this !!!! “evangelical chemists” hah
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If you like the science angle on this, you may really enjoy some of the others. This was a parody, but I have many others like this one that are science based. Let me know what you think https://jimoeba.wordpress.com/2018/03/20/dissipated-energy-the-collapse-of-religion/
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