“It’s a faulty neuroswitch sir, about a two dollar part from most traders”. “Replace them all forthright”, grumbled the captain. “We haven’t got all day”. “Who’s going to pay for this good sir? It’s nearly eight billion nano’s, not including neurofrequncy modulators for delivery”. “Eight billion“? questioned the captain with surprise. “What have they been doing, or dare I ask? We left the two of them to look around and watch the place a week ago—and all they’ve done is breed? All we warned is they not eat the flowering sildenafil*, and they go ahead and eat everything in sight?”
“Well sir, to them it’s been 6000 years. They are no longer familiar with the paradoxical quandaries of time travel”. The faulty switch has made breeding a priority, and they think we’re gods because if it. It’s really quite amusing, if it wasn’t such a mess, captain. It may be too late if we wait even one more day. That would be another 1000 years sir. We’ll have no planet left the way they’re breeding.
“Something else has gone wrong as well sir”. What is it Cohen? Don’t keep me guessing”. “There are over forty thousand different religions all worshipping gods they’ve created themselves, and to top it all, they fight and war with one another because of it. It’s more than one bad circuit sir—we need to make a call.
TheCommonAtheist 
Scary true. *sigh*
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Ah who the hell knows. As good as any guess, right! But the bad wire? Yep. Probably
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Something unfortunately you can’t fix by banging it with a rock…
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Not to cause issues with you Jo but Tubularsock would think that it depends on which dysfunction you are referring to.
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Guaranteed ED can’t be fixed by bangin It with a rock. Maybe bangin It like a rock star would help. Hehe
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Science fiction authors have attempted to deal with humanity’s obsession with religion in various ways. One of the more interesting was that our obsession with religion was deliberately induced in us to make sure that humanity, as a race, would never develop scientifically because we spent all our time bickering and fighting each other over ridiculous and obscure points of theology, and thus wouldn’t become a threat to the other civilizations out there. But we don’t really need any outside influence to screw us up. We seem to be doing a pretty good job of that all by ourselves.
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An interesting hypothesis.
I have been recently reading about the religion called Raëlism. Their take on gods is that they are just advanced aliens 👽 that our ancestors promoted to divine status
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This is how faith works. I have three or four things correct. There is a problem. It needs to be fixed. We are here. God did it! Why? My way Makes more sense than demanding circumcised men controlling harems and goats deepening my meaning of life. Something is broken there for certain.
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Well, that would certainly explain a lot.
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And un-explain a lot too. If we could get uncle Ricos time machine to work we could go see what happened
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I’m down with that “ontological” explanation.
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Lol. I have three of four things correct on there. In Mel’s ontology the problems are part of his contrived plan, so it’s all wrong from A to Z.
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The horror of it all is this: When global warming brings about coastal flooding, disease, and famine, the fundamentalists and conservatives will blame all non-Christians, all scientists, and all liberals. I can hear them now. “If you had believed in God Almighty, this wouldn’t be happening!” The sheer insanity of their current attitudes and ideas will provide the insanity for their absurd accusations.
Sorry for the pessimism. I’m still coming down from the Kavanaugh debacle.
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True. If it wasn’t for the massive quantity of true believers, we’d already destroyed by gods love.
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Good story. I hope they made the call.
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I can make it for them if they need. But alas… if only.
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Time travellers, aliens, gods, supermem, who else can we blame everything on. Ourselves? Nah! We’re already perfect!
Not…
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Well if I could pin it down, I’d say it’s all your fault. All of it! You are the reason I’m being punished, because if everyone believed, there would be no unrighteousness for judgment to fall on us.
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No problem, I’m told I have broad shoulders, though they look pretty slim to me. Knowing me, I probably did invent god in a much earlier incarnation, I’ve always been the kind of lazy that looks for the easiest way to do a thing, and shamans were nothing if not lazy.
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Hey, easy on the shamans there rawgod! Some were opportunistic but many did have a calling, and were legitimate healers and empathetic to nature’s whims. Shamans knew things others did not because they spent time listening. Yes, I am biased as I was one, at least the once I have remembrances of, and one of my three “Teachers” was herself a shaman of the people who lived along the Fraser River, here, at the westernmost edge of what is now called Chilliwack Mountain. Some shamanistic people were also great story tellers and able to pass on historical tales and anecdotes linking generations and the land. Some of us were shamans due to being lame and unable to hunt, or due to some other “affliction” such as being transgendered. Besides there is nothing wrong with figuring out an easier way to do any chore – that denotes intelligence, not laziness. Of course if that translates as taking advantage of peoples’ gullibility, that’s another story. A shaman should always demonstrate the highest attainable morality.
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You missed the point, S’T, I’m talking about the dawn of humanity, when all men were expected to go out on hunts, which was a very dangerous endeavour in those days. Seldom did every hunter return to the communal homes.
Yeah, I probably misused the word shaman, but there was no word for the first person who invented gods. It would have been no better if I had used witchdoctor, or high priest. I had no intention to insult anyone. I just needed a word, and shaman was the first to enter my mind. If you can offer me a better word, I will use it next time, IF I can remember it.
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Shyster?
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Possible, but still doesn’t feel right. “Lazy bastard” is the best I can come up with, but it misses that religious overtone of “I’m the only one who can intercede with the gods on behalf of all the tribesmen, and women, if they were more than chattel yet.
My mind is frozen today, think it had someyhing to do with the -10 C weather this morning, and a broken furnace. In spring that will be nothing, but right now, we are not acclimated to winter yet. We haven’t even had Indigenous Summer yet!
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I don’t believe we are getting the late summer this fall. Although we had a great winter this spring, I’ll consult Borealis for the best available forecast.
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How about “deluded one”?
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Don’t think so, Nan. The inventor would have been the “deluding” one. But thanks for trying.
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Yeah, that’s a good one.
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Hey, no biggie. We’re big enough to take it… and yes, there have been fakers, then those became the head honchos of organized religion.
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Jim – ‘Shyster’?
Hahahahahahaha
– Esme falling about then off the Cloud
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Now you’re finally getting it Jim and by the same token, it’s all your fault ’cause if you believed we’d all be holy and righteous and… blaaaaarghhhhhh! There was a time (well, 2 times actually) when I believed this stuff and I am amazed that such crude programming can work so well, so long, on so many people. How did we find our way out and they can’t? It was the horror caused by religious hypocrisy that drove me out and it was so obvious to me… something went wrong with my programming, some upgrade didn’t take I guess… best guess.
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You forgot the ultimate scapegoat: Satan.
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Bah, satan and god were still buddy buddy at this time, they had no pets to fight over yet.
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Right, and even up to the book of Job, Satan was still one of the sons of God and he was a member of the board. Hence how he and Yahoo (oops, sorry, Yahweh) got to play games on Job and torture him good and proper.
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Ah, good old Satan — You’re right, Sha’Tara, Satan is indeed the ultimate scapegoat for christians. The ultimate in attempting to deny responsibility for these people is to claim it was the devil’s fault.
I see the pope is now trying to blame the devil for the problems of the church. Sigh… No. Just no. Satan isn’t the problem with the Catholic church. The problem is a group of bastards who molested children and adults and the church tried to cover it up and even blame the victims. That isn’t satan, that’s you, Francis. You and the bishops and clergy who committed these horrors and then tried desperately to bury it as deep as you could.
Sorry, but sometimes this garbage just makes me so angry
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They ALL know what is and was going on. None of them are guiltless here. None! And the greatest of them all looked the other way.
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It would be childish if it wasn’t so disgustingly horrible. But when has the Catholic church been anything but? After I left the CC, I used to argue that the only reason there were such outstandingly good people within the organization was to give it credibility. They martyred their “good people” then they sainted them. There is no limit to the hypocrisy of that organization. There never will be. If evil had a proper name it would be Catholicism.
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Many endtime things in the Bible I believe are referring to the great Satan—the churches. They had to speak in code to keep their heads. The church is the beast, run by god (evil men) Everything we observe is opposite of what we hear, why not this too? Worth keeping an eye on it.
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You’re right again, Sha’Tara. I feel much the same way about the CC these days. The hierarchy, I rather quickly learned as I got more involved, didn’t give a damn about the people of the church. What they were primarily concerned with was keeping the money rolling in and protecting the image of the church. There was also a growing movement among the hierarchy to push the church further and further to the far right, towards a more fundamentalist attitude, to eliminate the reforms that had taken place with Vatican II, to reduce the role of women in the church, to push for an even more intolerant attitude in the church towards things like homosexuality. When the horrific stories of sexual abuse began to hit the media, the first and only concern of the hierarchy was damage control; deny, cover up, discredit the victims. Meanwhile there were other things going on that were overlooked in the media because of the focus on the sexual abuse stories. Alleged money laundering by the Vatican bank, allegations of high ranking church officials involved with organized crime, cardinals and bishops living like billionaires in mansions with luxury limousines, etc, all paid for by the church… The list goes on and on and on.
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Could be a comment on current day Mormonism. The “other” one true church.
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All churches are “true,” to themselves, and they would all be evil if there were such a thing. But there is no good, no evil. There are just choices, some that harm no living beings, and some that harm living beings, the number of beings harmed does not matter. If there is an “evil,” it is in not learning from those choices that hurt others that the chooser is hurting all living beings, including themselves. This is a lesson that all living beings must learn, it just cepends on how many incarnations it takes to learn it. The “bell curve” theory says only some can learn it in any generation, but extend that theory over enough time and all must learn it. Time is endless, and so is life, IMO.
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