After careful examination arson suspects Jesus, Mary, and Jabba The Hut are wanted for questioning. Jabba hasn’t been seen since the 80s, Jesus never, and Mary? Virgins are hard to come by. Judge for yourself. Believers believe.
The last time Jesus was clearly seen was in a piece of toast. I see a pattern.
Oh great!
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Quote: “The last time Jesus was clearly seen was in a piece of toast.” Hence the popular religious mantra, “You’re toast!”
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I propose a toast. 🍻 cheers!
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What a weak ass god. A perfectly preventable electrical caused fire and his squeeze’s namesake goes up in smoke. All the huffin, puffin and smitten can’t deal with faulty wiring. Getting old and slow, just a shadow of a concept with anger issues.
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Good point. Faulty wiring is what started this whole thing millennia ago. Seizures and synapses.
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A nod to Paul the synapses challenged profit of the celestial wonder boy?
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Quote: “his squeeze’s namesake goes up in smoke” That’s too funny! Too much passion… or a serious squabble in the stable?
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He’s come a long way since the manger. How do ya like me now? Humans have serious imaginations.
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Hmm, a ghostly apparition in a fire? Satan, of course! I magnified the image and saw horns on him – lol!
On a serious note, I toured Notre Dame cathedral years ago. The architecture is stunning. There’s an extremely narrow staircase in a tower where its very hard stone steps have been polished smooth from hundreds of years of human footsteps. I was captivated by it. The unusual wear and dark coloration screamed “history!” I can only imagine the many people and happenings that have taken place there. It’s kinda spooky. I wasn’t at all interested in the religion, though.
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Maybe it’s Moses? He had horns for about a thousand years since the vulgate Bible. I thought he shed them since the KJV. He has a history of burning things too….
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I always suspected that he was a jerk! 😀
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This was out of control. Not his style.
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Did they ever think Jesus burned it down himself? I mean after all he said that when you pray you should do it alone, in private, and that those who prayed in ostentatious buildings and ways were hypocrites who cared more for the impression they made on others than in genuinely pleasing god. Maybe Jesus finally got pissed off enough to actually do something about people not taking what he really said seriously?
Side Note: Within a few hours of a mere building burning they’ve already collected a billion dollars in pledges and donations to rebuild it, but we can’t come up with the money or the will to feed the millions of literally starving people on this planet? There is something seriously wrong with the human race.
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A billion$ already? Jesus Christ! I’d think the insurance and the church will cover it anyway. That billion will go up in smoke. Meanwhile in the Sudan and Burundi…
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Yep, it’s up to a billion already, or close to it. About $800+ million the last I heard. Businesses, organizations, celebrities, the wealthy, etc. are all climbing on the bandwagon to get in on the positive PR. Someone in the French government said they’d rebuild it within 12 years. Interesting trick that, if they can do it considering it took 300 years to build the original.
It’s all about PR, of course. Contributing to this gets the donors mentioned in news bytes and looks good in their press releases. Donating food, clothing or money to people fleeing wars and violence and living in squalid refugee camps doesn’t get mentioned on the news and might even have political repercussions
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Totally agree with you here. Sick! In the history of the age this building was erected we already know it was the product of indentured and slave labour – good riddance in my opinion.
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We had a bonfire tonight. Not to commemorate anything (I didn’t think of it dammit) but I did walk naked in the woods baiting bigfoots.
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You didn’t get lucky? No amorous Bigfoot lady jumping out from behind a tree to celebrate solstice?
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We danced around the fire too. I’m always lucky…‘Tis nice to have a secluded home and a hammock in the pines
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Indeed!
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Fortunately, the Original Crown of Thorns was removed in time. The danged thing looks like a torus now, thorn-clippings sold through the centuries have reduced it to a smooth o-ring. A link — to an aptly-named website — that provides all the proof-ridden details:
http://www.catholictradition.org/Christ/crown-thorns.htm
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Wow! Superfluous! I would chuckle more of it was intended satire.
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Goddamnit Jesus! Stop playing with fire!
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With Mary peeking around the corner I think they were playing hide and seek. Lots of practice. Your comment reminds me of my favorite beer. You ever see Dammit Jim?
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I’ve never seen Dammit Jim. I always loved seeing those posts about miracles in terrible tragedies. There was one picture from the 9/11 attacks that showed Jesus’ face in the rubble somewhere.
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He’s everywhere there’s tragedy. That would make him a supernatural suspect in my book. Whenever we’d respond to a suspicious fire we’d always look around for the arsonist. See the same person twice and you have your pyro. PyroMary and PyroJesus? I think so.
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Someone needs to stop this supernatural terrorist!
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Ah yes indeed and I believe that is exactly what Atheists are called to do. Onward people who do not fear ghosts or toasts…
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Don’t get me wrong it’s sad, but for real… One billion dollars??…One.Billions.Dollars!!! shit fire slap me in the face and call me Sally(as my dad would say😆) A LITTLE OVERBOARD don’t ya think!! lol 🤦 Saw where someone was praising God, claiming it a miracle that a gold cross didn’t melt along with the wood in the fire. God does work in mysterious ways Jim… Setting the fire and then…well, putting out the fire also. 🤔🤨🤔🤨🤥
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Pocket change really. Doesn’t jerry Jones have a billion in that stadium? I do believe the rallying cries to rebuild will muffle the cries of the sexually abused children.
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A nod to God with humble thanks for giving them the Prosperity Gospel.
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Just like bigfoot, Jesus is scared of high quality cameras it would seem. But here he is, in all his glory, doing what he does best. Perhaps I’ll become a believer again 😆.
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You can reconvert after you complete your training, ist
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Jim! This is how you go to hell
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I’ll meet you there Mak. Funny you mention that. I was thinking the same thing. All those hell-threats we had sure stick around to remind us where we’ve been, not where we’re going, says I
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I am told the Kenyans who went ahead of me to hell stole the matchbox and the fire was put out. Maybe we all will end up in heaven.
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Nairobi May be the prototype for hell. Really that would be Mogadishu.
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Mogadishu has travel restrictions; hell has wide corridors and easy movement
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I think hell has frozen over, which is a damn shame, think of all those homeless souls now… Here’s how it happened. All those non believers from Earth’s 20th C came to hell and started on about Hellish warming and proclaimed that fossil fuels were running out. There was a general meeting at which it was decided to dial down the fires to conserve energy and bring Hell’s temperature down 2.7 degrees C. Unfortunately that led to a chain reaction which extinguished everything. Who could have known, huh?
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This is quite serious. I am also told the scientists who left here for hell sent to work on AC. Hell, I hear, is the place to be
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What am I supposed to be seeing?
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One of those Jesus on toast moments.
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You think we’ll get to wear robes in heaven and women still will cover their heads?
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Of course. The free nipples are in hell.
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The Blessed Virgin in the flames, duh! Have you not eyes! She’s REALLY there! I mean, what else could that be, an illusion caused by fire!? HA!! CRAZY!!
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Is that her knitting by the Jeeves hat lamp?
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I believe so. Here in Chicago, several years ago, there was an “image” of Mary on a highway overpass that was caused by rain water and rust. It was a very big image in a VERY busy traffic area. Thus, as people were coming from all over the city to see it, it caused MASSIVE traffic jams for weeks. The city eventually painted over the image in order to clear up the traffic issues. However, to this day, there are people who come to that overpass to look at the painted-over, water-stained image of Mary. God does work in mysterious ways, eh. 🙂
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Priorities, the Lord has ’em!
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My dear Inspired, the beauty of apparitions is that one can see whatever one chooses (or is programmed) to see. That’s why commercials and ads work. The greater the exaggeration, the more blatant the lie, the more believable they are! An anecdote that probably has nothing to do with this… I had a mom-in-law once who had been a waitress in one of those forgettable western Saskatchewan towns. When someone ordered two scrambled eggs on toast she would yell to the kitchen, “Adam and Eve on a raft, wreck ’em!”
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😂😂😂 Yep! Mighty suspicious!
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I’ve always pictures them a little smaller. No wonder they’re hard to see up close.
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When I saw the news of the fire, first thing I saw in my minds eye was the Hunchback tossing a cigarette butt, with the caption ” ehh what could happen?”
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Sanctuary!!! Sanctuary!!! I accidentally burned down my own sanctuary!!!
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“Could bring those damned bells down, eh?”
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It made me sad to see the building burn. It was/is a really lovely place. But you know … all these people grieving for the loss of a building while the climate heats up (our planet!) seems a little odd. And why was the building under repair? The constant air pollution generated by cars is slowly dissolving the limestone. A building that stood firm for so long cannot survive modern civilization. Also … does anyone else wonder at Trump’s promise to provide aid when he can’t help the people of Flint or Puerto Rico (or the sick, elderly, disabled etc)?
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I’m sending my thoughts and prayers to … whomever. Isn’t that the proper thing to do when any kind of catastrophe strikes?
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A catastrophe, a godsend, or both? We destroy entire countries and set millions to their death, fleeing impossible conditions and we give a s**t about an old building that didn’t even house people, just more old s**t. I might have cared at the burning of the Library of Alexandria but this? As a conspiracy theorist I will say that this was planned by the elites to give themselves some less boring tripe to talk about and throw some of their ill-gotten loot at, pretending that they give a s**t about anything but themselves. Maybe it was nature’s way of saying, “Viva la Revolucion!”
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But … but … but Sha’Tara! This was a sacred place, doncha’ know? Much more important than starving, beat-down, and sick people.
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Yes, of course, how inconsiderate of me. God does need his special sacred places to attract his donors and you can’t just drag Mount Sinai or the Jerusalem temple all over the place with you. Those chosen ones who were (are) dispossessed and enslaved to create more sacred places for God should feel blessed. I was raised Catholic and born in France, surely I should understand all that. Alas! Woe is me, Canada has ruined me! I am desiccated with mortification!
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But just think of all the tourist dollars supporting French tourism. That must be rebuilt. Gag
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And here I thought the yellow vests had become the main tourist attraction over there. Maybe they’ll give the money to the yellow vesters? 😉
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Maybe. You have 🐿’s today. Lol. I want one.
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Hmmm, after looking at that first pic again, I’m pretty sure it’s Aunt Jemima standing there. But that raises more questions obviously. Like how big were those damn pancakes?
Well damn, now I’m hungry.
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Hahaha. I think you’re right. Or the bag-wan shri-roshnish.
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“The last time Jesus was clearly seen was in a piece of toast. I see a pattern.” Absolutely hilarious! I commend your good humor and good sense.
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I refrained the the dog butt apparition. All in good fun.
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https://images.app.goo.gl/xeeZqtyWiFuKKoBv6
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“God works in mysterious ways”…
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