Improvements I’d Like to See

  1. Faith insurance. As part of a nationwide tithing settlement, a portion of every donation would fund mental health counseling and current believer vertigo
  2. Graduation from church. Mandatory time limits for your church to meet its objectives. A good church would cut you loose but they depend on your tuition to ruin you
  3. Get out of religion free cards. More or less a monthly hall pass to get your bearings
  4. Tithing refunds—For those of us that saw it for what it is—and isn’t. We want our money back!
  5. Reparations to deconverts funded by a tax on religion
  6. Post traumatic religious syndrome: federal recognition that the duping you received caused you trauma.
  7. 4D vision-proof glasses. For looking beyond the veil to see there isn’t one.
  8. Religious Life-lock for identity reconstruction. Find yourself again on the church’s dime.
  9. Prophet sharing [sic] on religious revenue. Every good investment gives revenue sharing and dividends. Religion isn’t one of them.
  10. Warning signs on chapels and a two verse limit. Religion served on the premises, no children allowed.
  11. Minimum age limit (21) for baptism or any contractual membership.
  12. Embarrassment—that goes with the territory when the charade is over—sorry, only time will heal your chagrin

Finding your life groove outside of the myopia of belief.

Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

44 thoughts on “Improvements I’d Like to See”

  5. Faith Insurance when The Man just doesn’t come thru either the way you hoped or the way He Promised. Payable in all Denominations of bills. Lol

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      1. It’s good to Hope. But when hope becomes self delusion and we make excuses for what God hasn’t done… Then it’s a kind of Heavenly Stockholm Syndrome.
        “I love Big Brother”

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    1. Wouldn’t it be nice to pull a China move on the whole thing? I used to think they were evil, but now maybe they’re on to something.

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          1. Ah. I’d give religion 1 generation if it was somehow agreed upon that a person could not join a church until they were 21. Before then, they may learn comparative religion, and then, when they reach the age, they can decide for themselves.

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        1. LOL. Very good! I’d been in it so long, service made me sleepy—May caused drowsiness, focal motor seizure, disconjugate gaze (rotation of the two eyes in opposite directions, as in convergence or divergence)

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          1. Some of the inanity coming out of the preacher’s mouth would give rise to the barf reflex – and the pews were not equipped with either air bags (when you desperately need to bang your head repeatedly on the back of the forward pew), oxygen (for when the breathable air is forcibly pulled out of our lungs) or barf bags (for the obvious) and ear protectors! That should be mandatory. You have to be tough or truly brain dead to survive even one modern sermon.

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  9. Great list, Jim – can’t fault any of those improvement. My favourites are #10 and #11. Considering the recorded and observable damage religious instruction can do to the young, that’s but common sense. I love your warning sign: I’d like to see that on the doors, or premises, of all religious institutions, churches, schools or whatever.

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    1. Ooh I like that. That would definitely one-up Deuteronomy 6:9 “And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates” —CAVE DEI—BZ was here!

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      1. My formal initials might leap onto the stage: The Wizard of WAZ waz here, bekaz, bekaz, bekaz, bekaz, bekaz, … Bekaz of the wonderful things he daz!
        We’re off to see Banksy, the wonderful bizard of Bristol 🙂

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  11. Excellent ideas (two-verse limit — heh). Perhaps religious leaders should also be required to release their tax returns, like politicians. Let everyone see how much they’re making off the racket. And maybe churches should have warning labels like medications:

    “May cause hallucinations, blurred vision, paranoia, and aggressive behavior. Contains nuts. Keep out of reach of children.”

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    1. Lol. Catholic Churches would have the nut warning. Protestants would be “made in a facility that contained nuts”. Diplopia sounds good too, with the blurred vision of course.

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  13. I always put my hard hat on when I come ” in here”. Your thoughts are interesting, Jim, but why are your posts and certainly your devotees so cynical. A difference of opinion is fine, but does it have to be so ” strong”
    A fine wordsmith such as yourself can make the point with a velvet glove as well as a hammer”

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    1. I have plenty of velvety posts too. Since my observations are my own, maybe they seem strong, but I don’t rely on expert opinions to form my own thoughts. I just report what I see. Good and bad. Never meant any offense, really. Is this Jackie?

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      1. Oh Jim I wasn’t offended but I have seen the softer side of you. I find,your posts fascinating because even if I don’t agree with all you say they do make me think and question so that’s a bonus. I just remember the lynching mob getting me one time. Yes, jackie

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        1. I remember that! Yikes. It can get a little passionate. What bothered me about that one was you were just genuinely asking good questions. I hope you are well. You certainly go chameleon here don’t you? I think when we first met you were Loony B? Right? Lol.

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          1. Yes I was but the site was part of my past. So yes to reinvent and carried a few posts over. Nothing more. It’s not the bashing that was hard it was the relentless way some of them won’t even accept another opinion. Well listen in any event. Still onwards and upwards. I will still drop in and read and bugger the rest of them. Haha

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            1. I am. Building a greenhouse now as part of my master plan. I’m late as usual but I’ll be ready by end of summer. Indoor/outdoor year round growing is the goal. I’m excited to finally get some time.

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  16. These are perfect Jim! Number 12 is still taking me a little bit of time to get over…lol Reality hits hard when you’re ready to wake up and think for yourself. It’s difficult to understand how others don’t see it so easily. The BS is so easy to spot and call out. But somehow the word “faith” keeps people functioning as prisoners to religion.

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