Awakening from the Meaning Crisis

With life better than ever, why doesn’t it feel like it?

According to Dr. John Vervaeke, “there is a recent and steady surge in the search for meaning. Interest in mindfulness, psychedelic experience, transformative and mystical experience, as well as interest in wisdom and the search into ancient philosophies, like stoicism and Buddhism”.

There is also an academic uptick and public interest to study meaning in life. Is there a unifying account for why this is happening? What is it about todays world that drives people in record numbers to search for meaning?

Distrust in every institution, apocalypse, suicide, cynicism, the imminent collapse of civilization, the decline civility, all of these things are pervasive and they are now taken for granted as inevitable”. But are they? Statistically this is the best time ever to be alive—why doesn’t it feel like it?

Fall Camp

For centuries we have been influenced by a dominant mythology that turned out to be inadequate, Yet we seem to be happier overall, living with a displaced sense of meaning vs no meaning at all. We are in transition to a higher level of consciousness and wisdom. Change is sometimes painfully inept at explaining itself, but one thing seems to be clear—humanity is seeking something better in frustration to form a cohesive philosophy that results in contentment.

Religion has been exposed—so now what? The head-game of Hebrew religion and faith as a virtue has proven inadequate to take us to the next level. Everybody seems to know better, yet at this moment nihilism seems to be a rising tide, while crystals, tarot, psychedelic experience, mystical driven merchandise is setting record sales.

The most depressing thing in the world is turning back to the things that got you right where you are now—but what alternative is there?

All italics Dr John Vervaekeprofessor of cognitive science, University of Toronto, “Awakening From The Meaning Crisis”

Stick Man

Creatio ex Nihilo—Creation out of Nothing

If god created something out of nothing why is there still nothing?

Life is but a dream. Why else does form exist out of nothing? Not the nothing before creation, but the continuation of that same nothing—now perpetuating the great illusion

The paradox of material is apparent. Humanity and the elemental forms appear from a singularity. Of that element we cannot decipher the dream from reality, sleep from death—even the physical forms, not only made of nothing but still consist of no discoverable thing. Parsing the dream with physics we find more roadblocks than avenues.

Gottfried Leibniz asked, “why is there something rather than nothing? Actually that may be the wrong question; is there really any thing to actually be analyzed? Can anyone describe what material form is made of?

But first, what we call substance must be defined. What is it made of if not strictly consciousness? Since the universe consists of only one elementary substance, no other particle consisting of a different nature could interact with it—in fact, immiscible.

Can we understand the universe from a point of view that does not include our experience?

As a logical system, the universe works by simple logical operations at the most fundamental level. Such a substantial logical system is allowed only one type of substance, or one nature. This is because only elements of a same nature – of the same substance may participate in a logical operation. Since the whole universe is allowed to contain only one type of substance, the cause has to be some aspect of that single substance.

The Hebrew model of creation is once again at odds with reality. It seems like this world is all part of something tangible, that a material exists, but it doesn’t. God didn’t create any-thing out of nothing, but the dream is so convincing to it’s forms you could never parse it.

So why is there something rather than nothing? Or really, why does there appear to be something when there is still nothing? Where are the building blocks of this creation?

One cannot find the element, god, or any ontological root because it alone exists. This is you. The seeker is the sought—the sought is the seeker.

If god created something out of nothing why is there still nothing?

Physics and Mysticism

Where western science meets eastern mysticism—bootstrapping vs intuition

“All this was familiar to me from my research in high-energy physics, but until that moment I had only experienced it through graphs, diagrams and mathematical theories. As I sat on that beach my former experiences came to life; I saw cascades of energy coming down from outer space, in which particles were created and destroyed in rhythmic pulses; I saw the atoms of the elements and those of my body participating in this cosmic dance of energy; I felt its rhythm and I heard its sound, and at that moment I knew that this was the Dance of Shiva, the Lord of Dancers worshipped by the Hindus— Frifjof Capra, The Tao of Physics

In essence the dance of Shiva, a high speed representation of the atomic level—high energy movements, pulsations, and rhythms.

“I was particularly attracted to the puzzling aspects of Zen which reminded me of the puzzles in quantum theory. At first, however, relating the two was a purely intellectual exercise. To overcome the gap between rational, analytical thinking and the meditative experience of mystical truth, was, and still is, very difficult for me.—Frifjof Capra

Mysticism is utilizing what has been experienced, while physics is theorizing, describing, and viewing the fields behind the instruments of what is probable. They have the same descriptions of matter and energy—one through boot strapped logic and rigorous tests, the other through intuition and the meditative arts.

Yet throughout the ages these displays of the cosmic dance are interpreted differently, based on the available language, technology, and culture. How would Black Elk describe this today? “Crazy Horse went into the world where there is nothing but the spirits of all things. That is the real world that is behind this one, and everything we see here is something like a shadow from that one—Black Elk

Or the Incas and their depiction of Alpa Camasca, meaning “animated earth”, or the Kofan and their ability to “intuitively” read the vibrations of plants and communicate their usefulness in language and practice—through a special process of seeing the cosmic rhythms.

At the same time, everything is more than it appears, for the visible world is only one level of perception. Behind every tangible form, every plant and animal, is a shadow dimension, a place invisible to ordinary people but visible to the shaman”—Wade Davis, on the people of the Piraparaná, Amazon

So there we have it (there are many more) multiple cultures and even physicists describing a world very different from our normal level of magnification, each pointing to the universe as a unified cosmic dance—a dance without a regulating force.

In other words I feel, no longer a stranger in the world, but that the external world were my own bodybut a very overwhelming feeling that everything that happens, everything that I have ever done, anything anyone else has ever done, is part of a harmonious designthat there is no error at all—Alan Watts

It is probably true quite generally that in the history of human thinking the most fruitful developments frequently take place at those points where two different lines of thought meet—Werner Heisenberg

What about when 10 lines of thought, jungles, and time irrelevant meeting at the doorstep of modern physics? Is that evidence?

Are You You, Or Are You It?

The idea that everything is separate bits and pieces is an unscientific social construct

For what it’s worth—the idea that everything and everyone are separate bits and entities is an unscientific, social construct.

Everything you see is seen on the inside of your brain, while at the same time, that brain is on the inside of everything you see. Everyone else is also inside what they are seeing too (insert puddle analogy here) I know this seems rather obvious when you spell it out, so why does one feel we are individual agents of it? Why think of consciousness as an emergent property that arises from the brain—tradition, hypothesis, original sin? Why? Here’s an idea—

The brain does not create or produce consciousness; rather, it filters it”—Peter Fenwick.

My brain is only a receiver”—Nikola Tesla

Your brain is primarily a receiver too. Sure it has some memory and some habitual functions to conserve energy, but since birth it has received input—countless lines of opinion, indoctrination, definitions, and visual stimuli form a particular viewpoint and, occasionally can regurgitate a few lines of coherent feedback out of the mix, or pull an idea out of thin air (inspiration). How could an emergent property like a brain, developed by outside stimuli, suddenly become independent of it—unless that’s how you were taught to see it? There is no outside stimuli. You’re going through it and it’s going through you. That’s why your body is covered in little tubes. In and out, that’s what it does.

So you are inside of what you are looking at, and inside your brain we are seeing what we’re inside of. It is not outside you—it is you. The whole universe is you. It is all one thing. It’s all one process.

Our current thinking is a neat trick based mostly on a Hebrew interpretation from an authoritative culture where you are the created subject of a king—independent agents of freewill guilty of original sin, that you and your actions are somehow separate from the environment. This illusion permeates deep in our culture. You are responsible to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling”. You are on your own—but, “Any immutable attribute of oneself, cannot be a sin”. (1)

Maybe your brain being a receiver of consciousness is why it is so difficult to change your personality. It is 3 pounds of fat, receiving impulses and scanning for danger. How do you make it stop is the question? There are ways.

We are apertures of the entire cosmos, independent only as semi-unique physical structures—outposts in a self regulating organism where there is no freewill. Everything is a reaction to the flow of stimuli—even a well thought-out decision. Enjoy the ride!

Reincarnation—Fact, Wishful, or Something Else?

There is a grey area between life and death, a conscious-brain and conscious-ness

Some children are remembering past lives of themselves (or others?) with the two most compelling accounts in recent memory being Anne Frank (Barbro Karlén) and pilot James M. Huston Jr.

At 3 years old, James claimed to have been shot down in WWII and told his parents his real name, the ship, the mates, and so on. This persisted so they investigated and found his story contained many obscure facts and corroborations with the deceased man’s living relatives—including old shipmates from the USS Natoma—in the battle of the pacific.

It’s interesting to examine western vs eastern thought on the subject, where westerners turn to reincarnation as a comforting idea but difficult to believe, while the easterner has no trouble believing it but wants to get out of its endless cycles of futility. Funny, really.

So, from where do these past memories arise in these kids? The stories are many, and now with the internet many of the details can be verified using an objective approach.

There is a grey area between life and death, a conscious brain and consciousness. Where do these memories come from? What else could it be? Is everything a cold hard fact, or is there more to it that makes Hebrew religions and hard atheism alike, uncomfortable?

It happens in every culture and even those religions that don’t believe it, are being forced to consider it, like in the story of Marty Martyn.

These two accounts are also covered in depth on Netflix “Surviving Death” episode 6

Your God is not God

Another perspective on belief—a believers guide to unbelief

A man who believes in God can never find God. If you are open to reality, there can be no belief in reality. If you are open to the unknown, there can be no belief in it. After all, belief is a form of self-protection, and only a petty mind can believe in God.

As long as belief exists, there can never be the unknown; you cannot think about the unknown, thought cannot measure it. The mind is the product of the past, it is the result of yesterday, and can such a mind be open to the unknown? It can only project an image, but that projection is not real; so your god is not God, it is an image of your own making, an image of your own gratification.

There can be reality only when the mind understands the total process of itself and comes to an end. When the mind is completely empty-only then is it capable of receiving the unknown. The mind is not purged until it understands the content of relationship—its relationship with property, with people until it has established the right relationship with everything. Until it understands the whole process of conflict in relationship, the mind cannot be free. Only when the mind is wholly silent, completely inactive, not projecting, when it is not seeking and is utterly still —only then that which is eternal and timeless comes into being— J. Krishnamurti

Now with the word ‘god’ there is nothing to which it refers, so each man creates his own image of that for which there is no reference. The theologian does it in one way, the intellectual in another, and the believer and the non-believer in their own different ways.

Your belief in God will give you the experience of what you call God. You will always experience what you believe and nothing else. And this invalidates your experience. The Christian will see virgins, angels and Christ, [a Heavenly Father] and the Hindu will see similar deities in extravagant plurality. The Muslim, the Buddhist, the Jew and the Communist are the same. Belief conditions its own supposed proof. What is important is not what you believe but only why you believe at all. Why do you believe? And what difference does it make to what actually is whether you believe in one thing or another? J. Krishnamurti

“Belief comes from fear and is the most destructive thing. One must be free of fear and of belief. Belief divides people, makes them hard, makes them hate each other and cultivate war. In a roundabout way, unwillingly, you are admitting that fear begets belief. Freedom from belief is necessary to face the fact of fear. Belief like any other ideal is an escape from “what is”. When there is no fear then the mind is in quite a different dimension. Only then can you ask the question whether there is a God or not. A mind clouded by fear or belief is incapable of any kind of understanding, any realization of what truth is. Such a mind lives in illusion and can obviously not come upon that which is Supreme. The Supreme has nothing to do with your or anybody else’s belief, opinion or conclusion”.

Hope is evidence of despair. Faith is evidence you’ve accepted that. Through this system of belief the trap is sprung and servitude to dogmas will forever divide us through that belief—any belief will do.

Project Reality

How learning about other religions makes your own less obvious

Which mythology is the true religion? This is interesting

He said “the world is a projection of the one who sees it, in exactly the same way that a dream is a projection of the dreamer—that in fact everything you see is your own projection from your mind. When that projecting system vanishes, then you no longer see things as inside or outside, you simply recognize it as being your own self”.

“But until that moment (awakening), everything you see is a an internal projection, in much the same way that a movie is projected on to a screen, but it’s all going on inside your own head”—David Godman, excerpt on Sri Ramana Maharshi

What we see as reality is a projection from the mind (the receiver) onto the background (which is consciousness) that permeates everything. Like watching a movie in the theater, you can never see the screen behind the images. That screen is consciousness that pervades the entire cosmos.

Our minds are filled with cultural distractions based on incorrect myth—that you are separate ego. “I”, is then fed by grasping at objects focusing thought projected outside of the Self.

When you pursue the identification of “I” by focusing deeply on who is the the thinker of those thoughts, it leaves, vanishes, goes back to the source—that is the moment of awakening, and seeing the true reality that is not objects at all, but the Self, which is one. That is god in this philosophy, and it is you, and it is everything—and good and evil are all inflicted on itself.

Nothing can be seen without a background—and consciousness is all that. There is only one philosophical question worth pursuing; Is any of it serious? When all is said and pondered into paralysis and analyzed ad nauseum, what is it that remains besides I am?

We are connected to the world by little tubes and nerve endings on our skin. The whole cosmos perpetually passes through us, and us through it.

My first try at painting

To Awake or Keep Dreaming

The game is a fabulous, cosmic drama

“To be clear, waking up involves more than just knowing intellectually that everything around you is a dream. It is easy to be told something and believe it with your mind, but much more difficult to put it into practice. The point of the shamanic path is to have the experience of awakening, which involves something beyond the thinking mind or the intellectual knowledge“—Don Jose Ruiz, Toltec Shaman

The process of awakening is often referred to as unlearning. You begin by seeing how you were domesticated in the dream/trance of the planet. When you begin unraveling your domestications, you see that you were fed these ideas about yourself and you use these ideas to build a story of who you are. This is not who you really are, but simply who you identify with for the duration of the play.

You have been domesticated in wisdom—a necessary component to keep the game in play—born merely as a candidate for humanity on probation. Once you learn the rules and follow them voluntarily… welcome to the human race kid, your a real person. Person: from the Latin “Persona”—the mask the actors wear in the Greek and Roman drama” So to be a real person, is to be a genuine fake—Alan Watts. Top that with a belief in faith, and you’ve got a never ending story!

Some games are serious, some are creative. Others may be Baptist or atheist, and others Catholic, etc, all very convincing in their own zeal. Political games too—rights and wrongs, lefts and rights, it’s fascinating to see how each takes their myopic anchoring bias to the precipice of serious, until one sees the game as it is. The scientist is no different—the academic stalwart, tough minded materialist says; This. Is. It!—there’s nothing more, when you’re dead you’re dead! Bravo man, great stuff. Heroic! You’ve even convinced yourself.

Funny thing about science and religion—there are no secrets. Everything is wide out in the open except for one little item; A secret that requires some discipline and trust to keep. And when you see it, you best be careful not to admit it in the wrong circles—the ultimate cultural taboo.

Christianity handled the problem of awakening as well as it could be handled—Jesus is the only god, no more, but mystics in every culture have seen the ultimate reality that we are the cosmic whole (I and the father are one?)

So, what can we take away from this practice? It seems like as many that benefit from it, there are many others that struggle after seeing there is no meaning—that we are all god with no ultimate bosses. There is no sense in ruining the game with too much information, but the clean slate of seeing behind the scenes doesn’t have to ruin it. If anything it should unite humanity in such a way that it becomes the ultimate vacation for every single human. Reclaiming paradise lost is a religious theme throughout the world. But if everyone knew, the gig would be up (again) and the earth rolled together like a scroll (a), with the collective consciousness withdrawn from manifesting as form.

(a)All the stars in the sky will be dissolved and the heavens rolled up like a scroll; all the starry host will fall like withered leaves from the vine—Isaiah 34:4

“we exist in a conscious universe where all material things have life and awareness”—Kogi Elder

Sky fox being chased by dragons in a Viking ship

6-4-2020

Pushing the Fat Man?

Fat man variation of the trolley problem—to push or not to push

You are on a footbridge over the trolley track where five people are tied down. A runaway trolley is rushing toward them. Near you on the bridge is a fat-man. If you shove him over the side he will fall on the track—stopping the trolley and saving the five, yet dying in the process. What should you do?

Possible answers to the trolley problem by ideology—

Philosopher: We will watch and analyze what happens—to push or not to push isn’t the right question…

Christian: Is saving lives Gods problem or mine? I hope they are all saved

Muslim: And so it was written…

Hindu: What did they do in their prior lives deserves this? This is an amazing act—Bravo!

Buddhist: Doing what is honorable can make pure intentions resemble psychopathy…Push

Jewish: According to halakhic tradition we cannot push one soul aside for another. But, er, um, are any of them Jewish?

Shaman: What is a trolley?

Democrat: Five taxpayers vs one? Push

Republican: I hope they were all saved

Conspiracy Theorist: I’m not interfering with the Illuminati…

Mormon: We really are Christians, people…

Atheist:

What Really Was The Good News?

What was the good news and where did it go?

The awareness of full consciousness—that same ethereal beginning that has been the primer for many religions, cultures, counter cultures, shaman, and silent men and women since time immemorial, has dominated the landscape of thought since man could put into words.

Since the religion is now and forever about following Jesus instead of his message, shows his followers did not understand “the good news” any more than the modern day followers of Jesus. Then, shortly after his death, the intellectual transfer to the stupor of faith, counterfeited the mystery to carefully guard the irrelevance of the church. Now “ever learning but never coming to a knowledge of the truth“. Welcome to belief in faith.

The early church opted for idol worship and sequestered Jesus—the only true son of god, which stopped the real gospel in its tracks. We certainly can’t have anyone else running around like gods, can we? So for now we simply have been persuaded we can never measure up, relegating ourselves to hoping for grace—which was never the point. But alas, now you can never compare yourself to Jesus no matter what the effort—or be the heretic, for only He and god are one, but that too, was never the point.

When Christianity institutionalized Jesus as the one, it essentially ensured castration—the gospel will never usher in the kingdom of god on earth—so we have look elsewhere.

So what secret was he trying to reveal? It had to be subtle, for like so many others that claimed I AM were put to death by revealing what we really are—showing how ignorance can easily blaspheme the truth.

 John 10:34—”Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

35 If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God came, and the scripture cannot be broken;

36 Say ye of him, whom the Father hath sanctified, and sent into the world, Thou blasphemest; because I said, I am the a Son of God?” (In the Greek he is a son of God, not the son of god. Italics in the KJV delineates translator interpolation, not emphasis—and in this case incorrectly. A son of god means our immortal existence is a coexistence of equals, not a monarchy. We are all of the same status, and deep down I think most of us (you) know this.

The term “son of god” in the original context implies “equal in nature and authority to god”.

Psalm 82:6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

The ultimate reality—that all of us are each the cosmic whole. The great mystics have all seen this. This is the central mystery Jesus wanted us to see.

Although writers are constrained by the language and religious bias of their culture (using familiar terms like father, and He) Jesus was one who knew the game and that universal and everlasting life is wonderfully crafted and masterfully—us

This ideal state of intellectual and ethereal perfection can be achieved by mankind through purely human means that takes no belief to achieve—for it is a method that can be taught. But who will listen? Certainly not me, the sinner. I could never be like god, so follow the leader we must?

But the things he did we were also to do—“even greater things than these“, but we’ll never do it when we substitute our true nature for faith and idol worship.

So here we are. Here I AM, as those who know have known for a long time. There is no monarchial boss or patriarchal authority. It is an endless happening. Life is what we do. It is what we are.

The good news is not simply that Jesus was a son of god, but to open everyone’s eyes that they are too. Equal measures of the whole thing. I and the ethereal are one. It doesn’t help that the word ‘God’ has been hijacked to mean what it means. If we’re going to participate as who we actually are, a new word would help.

If I were to believe in god, I never will see it nor be it.

The Christian definitions of god and father hierarchy are at odds with the experience. If you were to get a peek behind the curtain and see that it is you—you are the whole thing, you would look at people differently, knowing full well that they are too, but they haven’t learned how to grasp it? Wouldn’t that make you smile, knowing how simply and effectively we have fooled ourselves for the moment? That there is no hierarchy or intimate bosses taking notes on your behavior?

But really, this is all a necessary component of the physical experience. If everybody recognized this we’d have the kingdom of god on earth. That would be silly to have it “be done on earth as it is in heaven”. So we stick with faith and worship the messenger instead of experience the whole of the message. It can’t possibly be our doing, can it? That would mean personal responsibility. We’d rather follow the gurus which is obvious because that’s what humans do—look outside themselves for validation.

God Manifest in Jesus?

How arguments for the Bible are counter-Christian

There may be God, but is it what believers think it is? There is an odd problem in being led to believe faith is the pinnacle of religious experience. Because the mysteries of Jesus (whoever wrote them) that are encoded in the Biblical text, have nothing to do with faith—but that which is behind the thin veil of this performance is something real, yet mostly indecipherable for the duration of the game. God isn’t manifest in Jesus, but god is manifest in the Bible—just not the god they think it is.

Many other systems of religion attempt to awaken being, and within the biblical text there are clues that resonate with this process, yet are not Christian in nature. The problem lay twofold; the interpretations of the experience being heavily biased toward the culture and anchoring beliefs of the initiate—in this case Hebrew, then, Christianity restricts the process by clinging to faith, counterfeiting a temporary waypoint as a final destination—it actually arrives at nothing and always will. It’s a law for layman to remain laymen. “But to you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given“—Mt 13:11

Through unbelief the experience is generic, is not the god of your fathers, nor a display of patriarchal hierarchy in any way or form. It’s not even religious, although it is moving.

Faith is what holds Christianity in darkness and division. One cannot seek to find, nor can one employ hard beliefs to be awakened. Real faith is actually letting go—letting go of all the gods, beliefs, efforts, and compliance to commandments (or the reliance on grace) as an achievement. It has to be real faith—the faith of an atheist. For faith is not clinging, but letting go. Letting go is the first step and a clean slate, while those who hold on to the image of god will never see that faith is the problem.

The awakening doesn’t require belief, but to the contrary. Belief is merely another attachment to an idea (as well as atheism?) and through strong faith the experience becomes less likely than ever.

The concept of faith is even surpassed by the wisdom and philosophies of the Indian medicine wheel. But to be strong in faith is to play on words that make the initiate too weak to see its restrictions, let alone divine comprehension.

Crazy Horse went into the world where there is nothing but the spirits of all things. That is the real world that is behind this one, and everything we see here is something like a shadow from that one”—Black Elk

And it is not a god, but a play, a happening of participants and watchers. We are the whole thing. And like each pixel of the hologram contains the entire picture, so it is with us. “I and the father are one“, but it is not the biblical god, the whole thing is me. It is the me that is not the me of bones and skin, heart and lungs, which cannot die or be removed without the entire game collapsing. Pretty neat trick.

Birthday canvas from my daughter—2020

What Denomination of Atheism are You?

How atheisms are limited to what we know we don’t know. Is there more to disbelieve?

How much do we need to know before we can safely say we don’t believe?

Having not much in the way of indoctrinations outside Christianity, my unbelief is limited to a specific scope of practice—a field test of the words and ideas that were forced on me without my consent since birth. Really, can we reject all the other gods we don’t yet know?

Since we don’t know much about eastern religion, nor the meanings of orthodoxy, or Hinduism, most of us here have an atheism to the Yahweh god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The other gods we hardly know, so considering blanket disdain or unbelief in something unknown is nearly impossible but yet, hardly worth the time to explore it out.

The key strong belief lies in pretending this life holds vast importance, that your worry and concern are somehow moral, noble and righteous. But this just isn’t true, and fearing to really live life because of the dogmas has crippled humanity into a fear of being afraid, instead of allowing life to play out the scenes. Fear as a normal part of this exploration, like the order of operations, first comes fear, then comes the faith (which isn’t faith at all, but worry)

We have been conditioned to believe here in the Christian god out of fear and faithless worry, but really it’s all the other gods we don’t know that we should be concerned, worried, and watching about—for we know this one isn’t real.