K-Y Jelly – A Christian Model

K-Y Jelly, a product of Johnson and Johnson, developed in 1904 as a surgical lubricant, quickly found its way as a multi use product. Hollywood makeup artist use the jelly in the horror-movie industry. Special effects technicians like Stan Winston and Rob Bottin use the jelly to create a “slimy” appearance for monster puppet effects.

K-Y Jelly is also used clinically to perform prostate examinations in men and gynecological examinations in women. For prostate exams, physicians use K-Y Jelly to lubricate a finger to ease insertion into the rectum for prostate assessment. A similar process is used in the pelvic and recto-pelvic exams in women.

The product is also widely used as a sexual lubricant. It does not react with condoms or rubber-based sex toys. While K-Y has a thick consistency and a tendency to dry out during use, it can be “reactivated” by the addition of saliva or more water.

Christianity also was invented with a single purpose, but quickly induced other untoward effects and diminished cognitive abilities. Initially, faith was thought only to cause warm and fuzzy feelings, but quickly was used to penetrate six continents. Also, 80% of infected parties developed SORTS, (stupor of rational thought syndrome), where they would blindly go along with fairy tales, as well as follow their leaders to inflict misery on unsuspecting indigenous genotypes. Also noted in double blind case study 3-16, gullibility increased ten fold. Absorption ratios to PBS* increased to alarming level, where christian faithful were seventy times more likely to believe anything they were told of a supernatural, or conspiratorial nature. The Faithful tend to accept whatever they are told from specially designed pulpits, to the point where K-Y has been essential for parishioners to just bend over and take it. And while the speaker reaps his eternal reward in cash, the congregates will still have to wait postmortem to see any benefits.

* Pulpit Bull Shit