Perpetual Motion Machine

The search for an endless, free energy source has been discovered and as usual, it’s been under our noses for quite some time, or in this case, our fingertips.

Christian apologists have been recruited GE Office Systems for developing a hands-on, in-home prototype using electricity generating keyboards. Since there is no end in sight to the rhetoric and excuses generated, apologists in key population bases have been scheduled to present their arguments for god during “peak voltage demand” based on their time zones. Each apologist will receive metered credits on their power bills, and substation attendants will receive overtime for after hours, long winded diatribes when keystrokes exceed power demand.

While the current prototype generates a substantial, unintelligible-vacuum sound, is is anticipated to blend in nicely with the already numbing tones that whisk their way across the world at light speed from existing modems. As existing arguments for god are at a millennials-long standstill, frustration has trended upward only raising the flurry of apologetic banter.