Being a Mormon Man

How Mormon men are tortured/controlled by celestial marriage,

Selling life insurance was a perfect fit. After returning home from his mission for the LDS church, it was a natural opportunity.

Shortly after his career started to bloom, the internet snowballed into a monopolistic platform and life insurance was no longer a haven for cold callers. Kid number two on the way, he and his eternal bride moved into the in-laws basement—the lord will provide.

After father-in-law funded his education, he landed a job as a teacher. Five boys now ran the basement halls, all under the age of ten; celestial family intact—while daddy kept his secret life on the school computer.

It all came crashing down.

A sting operation uncovered adult pornography on his school computer and he was fired. I can’t imagine the horror he felt as his thoughts of wife, children, church community, in-laws, all of it stared deep into his person—the inadequacy, the impending doom of a life of lies quickly became public knowledge.

There is a lot of pressure on the Mormon men because the women are typically more faithful and submissive. The doctrine states; if you don’t get in to heaven with your bride, another will take her home. If you are not worthy to lead her through the veil into the presence of the lord, she will be given (along with all your sealed children) to another more righteous that you.

His whole life and self worth is dictated by a doctrine of the groveling sinner, All of his insignificant secrets condemn the man for his natural urges, while his wife controls his sex life with her puritanized upbringing. Not only is his sexual adventure suppressed, it is taboo to even discuss such fantasies with his wife without being suspect of perverism.

Now he is not only monitored by the lord, but by his church community. He interviews with his bishop twice a year to make sure his little problem is in suppression, while the lingering disapproval of his weakness reigns.

His wife has forgiven him for his secret (which never should have needed to be secret) and he sells mattresses to supplement her income—because of some dirty pictures he should have been viewing with his wife to begin with.

Vatican Hands Over the Keys

Mormon officials were stunned after Pope Francis surprise visit to Salt Lake City, Utah on Tuesday. Amidst poorly handled child sexual abuse scandals worldwide, the Pope has called it quits, handed over Vatican keys to Russel M. Nelson, prophet, seer, and revelator of the Utah group. Nelson was speechless, but after a short intercessory prayer spoke of the fulfillment of Mormon prophecy. “The keys of the kingdom of God are committed unto man on the earth, and from thence shall the gospel roll forth unto the ends of the earth, as the stone which is cut out of the mountain without hands shall roll forth, until it has filled the whole earth” (Doctrine and Covenants 65:2)

The church never imagined the prophecy would be fulfilled in such a literal sense. 58,000 Missionaries around the world have received notice to return home immediately, ending the church-old Mormon tradition. Russel M. Nelson, after quoting Joseph Smith was briefly interrupted by Francis. Off-mic comments by Francis recorded by cell phone congratulated the prophet on the LDS church mastery of grooming minors, encouraged him to continue the rite in a less hap-hazard manner, was followed by a subtle wink at the pope. Arrangement have been made and bishops, priests, and cardinals from around the world will be heading to salt lake to receive the Mormon priesthood. LDS sign shop will be mass producing stickers to relabel churches with a New Name, “The Catchurjesuschrist of Latter Day Saints” will be the stone that fills the whole earth.

Nelson, now famous for excommunicating Sam Young (for exposing Mormon abuses of children by presenting nearly 1000 letters from former victims) has a good handle on continuing the ‘inner-traditions” in the hierarchy of religious practice, sending a clear message to incoming clergy that the playground will stay open in a kinder, more subtle secrecy. “The suit is the new robe of the holy priesthood”, says Nelson, providing the needed autonomy to mix business religion with pleasure at the expense of our youth. “Hold on to your butts” the oft quoted line from Jurassic Park has taken on a new meaning in Mormon mantra.

The Next Einstein

How religious sidetracking stunts human potential for higher learning

Oops. The lottery on child birthing foreordained spirits has just placed the next Einstein in a Christian home. His room, all ready for next months due date, is blue. Above the crib sits a mobile with jesus and twinkles with children’s hymns. The walls are adorned with bible verses and pictures of Moses parting the Red Sea, Jesus praying in the garden of gethsememe, and Abraham praying up to a cloud. The boys name will be Daniel, after the prophet.

—fast forward 12 years. After showing excellent aptitude for math and science, his parents question his devotion to god and distract his convictions with innuendos and smugness. They correct him with comments about pseudoscience and how faith is the answer to all of life’s questions. They openly criticize climate science, and other ungodly, intrusive left wing conspiracies. Those who believe in science have more faith than Christians. They continue to read select bible verses and tell the creation story, and that we all know that truth comes from the Bible and from god—the answers to life’s questions are in scripture. Bible camps and Sunday worship, youth choir and is now president of his Sunday school class. He can quote 50 scriptures. He is a good boy. His neurons are off the chart smart. He memorizes the King James Bible. He is a prodigy.

At graduation he leads the school in an unsanctioned prayer, even catching his parents by surprise. They are so proud. He is a leader. Perfect GPA and smart as they come—he will do just fine in life and be a good husband and a godly man. On the side he is applying the sciences—quantum mechanics—his true love. He’s been accepted to Liberty University and plans to major in divinity. His parents are so proud.

At 21 his love for science remains, but the pace of college life and an early graduation, student debt and a baby on the way, he takes a job at a church in Tulsa. Moving expenses paid and a little house on the property, he begins the rest of his life. His ideas of quantum mechanics are never published or reviewed. His math is getting rusty, and the equations he had memorized he can no longer decipher. They sit in a “get to it later” moving box as his life begins. He now does a local Christian radio show Saturday nights. Q and A and a memorized bible. He’s fantastic!

Religious side-tracking is delaying progress in the world. Statistically, 80% of the greatest scientific minds we’ll never hear of. Distracted with faith, belief, and fable, the windows of opportunity close and what could be, would be great, becomes mere baggage to the few that are pulling us along toward greatness. Fill the mind with something great, but anything will do if you’re starving it.

And if you think christians are indoctrinated, what do you think of their cousins?

“Is it true that Muslim children can RECITE the whole Quran? How?

Yes! It is true. Our children can recite the Quran by age 5–12 years. Around 90% children in Muslim households memorize more than 6000 verses and can recite Quran from memory”. Literally millions from each Muslim country have done this. And the cultural pressure for these “Hafiz” is great. They must maintain the memorization through there life leaving little time for advanced learning.

Although an impressive feat, it is also a discouraging look into the future of practical knowledge from the former breadbasket of higher learning.

When that’s all you know, it must be true. There is no time for anything else when culture dictates a life filled with one topic that designs your every thought.

Book of Mormon Authorship

If Joseph Smith authored the Book of Mormon with an eighth grade education it is quite a feat. Although the book came out in his 20’s, who really knows what he learned or where. A history book issued in his school years when he was 12 obviously had some significant influence. Thanks to the computer age, 100,000 books published in Smith’s time extracted one stunning correlation. The Late War Between the United States and Great Britain by Gilbert Hunt, is a king James style history book used as a student reader about the war of 1812. The Book of Mormon contains over 100 4gram matches (please see this and scroll to the top after loading) to the The Late War. 4gram, or unique 4 word sentences typically will match one or two times per thousand books. It also contains many exact phrases and closely related ideas from The Late War, and the Book of Mormon itself is primarily about war, but then again, so are most other religious texts. Joseph Smith was 12 when the Book entered schools. It was a great success, and endorsed by reputable scholars. The same scholars joseph smith approached to validate the Book of Mormon.

But for myself, there are two other reasons I do not believe Joseph Smith Jr. authored the Book of Mormon, but I believe his father did, and with cooperation in the family business, Jr. was the front man. The tree of life vision of the Book of Mormon is an important piece in Mormon culture and the Book of Mormon. Everybody mormon knows the story. It was also a journal entry from Joseph Smith Sr’ wife, referring to the story told by her husband 19 years prior to the publishing of the Book of Mormon. He was an educated man and had been working on the story for decades, and is the ghost writer if I am right.

I asked my wife the other day when I stumbled across this journal entry, if one of our kids said they wanted us to join with them in a church, would we do it? It was an emphatic “no!” Jr’s parents and all his siblings joined the church and were part of its organizing day. All of them! Then I asked my wife if I wanted the family to join a church, would we all join? Her answer was probably. In fact, that’s what happened to us years ago. The entire family joined the LDS because I was LDS. Jr’s family were all a part of the scheme, as they were with other shady adventures including divining and other occult activities.

LDS apologetics is stating the vision by Sr. was to prepare him to know his son was a prophet. How surprised he must have been when he read the tree of life vision in the Book of Mormon for the first time. Uh, no, not surprised, because most likely he wrote it. Remember the simplest answer is most likely the best answer. Here is a short Mormon article about the vision. Read the comments too, as you can judge for yourself the depth of LDS faith in fiction.

As a side note, most LDS do not know about Sr’s account of the tree of life. Members need to do some digging because this is just another of many failing bilge pumps. The ship would sink pretty fast if anyone does any reading. I would love to hear some thoughts from members on this. What is the current thought on this?

Blood Oaths

When I was twenty I went to the LDS temple for what is called an endowment. In Mormon lingo, the endowment is where you receive your “spiritual gifts”, that enable you to pass the sentinels and enter the presence of god. Washed and anointed with oil, pronounced clean and blessed to be a “king and a priest unto the most high god, to rule and reign in the house of Israel forever” The endowment ceremony is about an hour and a half where you rehash the creation!story and make various covenants that are sworn to secrecy with signs, special handshakes, and followed by an oath to never reveal the signs and tokens or suffer your life to be taken. As you made the oath, you symbolically slit your own throat in one phase, and disembowel yourself in the other. All the while wearing the robes of the priesthood and a fig leaf apron to cover your nakedness.

Besides having to agree to all the covenants by acting out a blood oath it happens BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. It was shockingly strange, but you move along to the veil and use those key words, signs, and tokens to pass through and enter the presence of god in the “celestial ” room. Hushed tones and reverence rule, and discussing these things is vague and symbolic in nature. Everyone around you congratulating you and telling you how wonderful it is. It wasn’t. But, trusting those that have gone on before, convinced that you just lack understanding, and being reassured that the more times you go (the next times in behalf of the deceased that missed this opportunity) the more you understand the wonderful significance of it all.

To anyone who thinks this is even remotely normal, you have a problem. The ceremony now, some 35 years later, has been dumbed down to be less offensive, but the one I went through had already been lightened several times before. The initial ceremony was vastly more ghastly, but as times changed, so did people’s ability to tolerate it. While some fought the changes, apparently god is changing how important this is to have it exactly right.

Mormon culture is a persuasive closed system, where open criticism is the road to apostasy, and questions about anything inside the approved doctrines are unwelcome.

In most cases (mine being extremely rare where my wife left with me) the mere mention of unbelief deems you an outcast, failing your priesthood and your family. Tell your wife and extended family you don’t believe, and you are told to pray, study, do not doubt, trust me, trust us, and the fear of hell from denying your testimony, losing every friend, spouse, kids, and practically every sense of your life is on the chopping block. I have one friend left after 50 years of church. But it was worth it.

Finding My Faith Groove With So Many Choices

I once had the difficult decision of selecting the right faith. I really like the Seventh Day Adventists. Nice people, eat right, and family values. But worship on Saturdays is just a big red flag right from the start. Bama Football is on Saturday, so I looked for a Sunday church. Plus the fact that Saturday worship is so important that sinning against it meant going to hell. I thought it was a little early for that!

Mormons seemed pretty cool, but the meeting put me to sleep. Funeral home ambience is the closest I can get to an accurate description. If that is the requirement for conviction, I just don’t have the stamina. Wow they cry a lot.

So many people are becoming Muslim these days I thought I’d give that a quick look. I signed up and got a free monogrammed prayer rug for my five a day devotional prayers. Sounded pretty cool, but highly impractical as a teacher. Word got out to the parents that I would drop and pray during class time and later that week I attended the longest school board meeting in the history of school board meetings. A hot topic for sure, was the kids didn’t know what the hell was going on. Two of them stopped, dropped, and rolled, and 9 of them got under the desks for earthquake drill. And I learned too, that we live in a Christian community and carrying a Janbiya to school is a nono. I didn’t know there was a difference being all children of Abraham. But wow! I did manage to keep my job though.

Unification Church sounded pretty cool. I mean, who doesn’t want to be unified? I went to the first meeting and they took my phone and I spent three days in a locked conference room with little food and no contact with the outside world. I learned some cool chants and was able to “send out” and “receive” a fair amount of love and actually got to act it out. The “insertion” part was cool. There was a calm aura all around. The Handkerchiefs, Holy Garments and Holy Water thing was weird. I can’t throw it away! Where do I keep this shit? When I got done for the weekend I felt like I’d been spiritually flattened and needed to check into a rehab somewhere. I still haven’t told my wife where I was.

So I guess the search continues. Next week I check out Assemblies of God to see if I can get rid of this limp, and then I’m doing the Jehovahs Witness. Hoping to get in on the “144,000” thing. I wonder if I get a special poker chip or something to save my spot? I am hesitant to go into a building with no windows though.

33,995 Christian denominations and 37,000,000 others to go. That shouldn’t take too long since they all claim they’re right.

Hubble Captures Distant Images of Temples on Other Planets

According to an anonymous insider, The Vatican along with NASA’s HST division are withholding critical images proving that Mormonism is indeed more than a world religion. God has created “worlds without number” and recent Hubble images have captured LDS temples in other distant solar systems. LDS temple alignment and curious symbolism is literally a “modern day Mormon stargate “. Below are some codings in alignment from specific LDS temple architecture.

LDS officials routinely open these gates using a stellar map and detailed compass aligned with a curious sword that was deposited in the Hill Cumorah in upstate New York and retrieved by the prophet Joseph Smith.

Officials state ” we’ve had the answers for quite some time”, although common members are not currently participating in intergalactic travel because of “unbelief”, Church officials do commonly visit other planets to coordinate the various second coming scenarios soon to unfold.

“There’s only one Jesus, so these things take a little planning “. LDS doctrine teach “Christ’s atonement was for all of gods children, and in the big picture, that is a lot of worlds and a lot of people that need saving”.

Current leadership is also in pursuit of the Erdapfel globe. “We want it back”, for as rumored the globe is not a 15th century creation, but a much older relic of precolombian mesoamerican mormonism.