Inside Out

Usually you all know nothing about how your efforts here in presenting Atheism and Humanism can affect just one person once in a while. But you all have stuck with it. I see many familiar names from when I was posting religious spew on your blogs a few years back. I was pretty nice about it but was curious too. Having my own belief questions I wanted to see how my arguments stood up outside of the faith. I tried to have an open mind and really see things from another vantage point.

One day I was asking some questions and interjecting my beliefs, and I mentioned I was really just trying to understand but would never leave religion. Violet (I think was the name) jumped in and said “you will”. “That if I really was serious about learning about life outside of faith that I would eventually leave it”. That really stuck with me and I stewed on it for quite a while. She knew if I saw what was real outside of that lens that I would at least know a decision had to be made. Believe it or don’t believe it. It was a choice! How right she was! That moment was pivotal in my deconversion.

I have always sought truth the best I know how. I don’t care to be right, I just want the truth wherever that may be. If I’m wrong I’ll admit it. I won’t defend a position I know in my head is wrong. That moment started a long search outside of the church and its approved doctrines and materials. Actually took about three weeks of full time searching and trying to justify staying in the faith. Once I peeked at the reality and reasoning there was no going back. After 50 years of church and Jesus I walked away. My wife and kids were in Panama City on vacation during that time. When they came back to the jungle I told them what I wanted to do and why. My wife had done her own looking and promptly agreed. We gathered up all of our church crap, the manuals and home school religious items and scriptures and burned it all. I burned books! Never regretted it for one moment. Free baby!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for your insights and mentoring me in your blood soaked heathenistic pagan smart ass ways. Sometimes good sense does rule the day. Life without church is life indeed! Glad somebody told me! Is an excellent example of how I felt. Thanks Shiarrael!

Where is Violet anyway? Haven’t seen her in quite a while. Give her my regards if any of you know her.

I’ve been Proselytized!

A nurse at work told me yesterday I seem like a believer. Are you? I said no, I don’t believe in any gods at all. Nothing. She got a puzzled eyebrows raised look on her face for just a second and told me “wow I’m surprised. You just seem so nice and have that way about you”. I guess you were all supposed to look like monsters. (not sure who to credit here. Got it from Bill’s site at badatheist)

We had a nice conversation though and she offered me the best book she ever read that convinced her to Jesus. She was so sure I just hadn’t had it explained to me proper. (Just what I want to read. More apologetics). Let me be honest I said. I won’t read it. I’ve read a ton of them and I just don’t believe any of it. Not a lot of atheist in my neck of the woods(at least that will admit it). I’m pretty sure I was her first based on her stutter. I gave her my top three reasons and she bore me her conversion story. It was all pleasant enough, but she couldn’t really grasp the fact that I’m just not interested at all. Nunca