COVID-19—Protecting Your Homes

Bottled water and toilet paper is no match for the power of god

Certainly Moses saw our day and insight to Hebrew scripture can protect you and your loved ones from the wrath of god by painting lambs blood around the entries of your home

“And they shall take of the blood, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses…and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you”—Numbers 9:7,13

It will certainly keep infected people from entering your home, as well as friends, family, salesmen missionaries, or anybody else for that matter. All miracles come with an explanation, but likely this one never happened in Egypt, so careful which biblical verse you trust since all of it leads to faith—and there is little to cure that.

Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

43 thoughts on “COVID-19—Protecting Your Homes”

  1. “It will certainly keep infected people from entering your home, as well as friends, family, salesmen missionaries, or anybody else for that matter”

    True, but it probably won’t keep the flies, and other criters, away. Most likely you’ll have other “visitors” worse than salesmen.

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  3. I’ve been wondering if church ‘services’ are going to dwindle since it may become more and more advisable to stay away from crowds.
    But, then, of course “when two or more are gathered in my name,” right?
    Couldn’t they just pray the virus away?
    Something (like, you know, reality) tells me that won’t be quite sufficient.

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  4. This would be the perfect opportunity to conduct a controlled study.

    Theists get the “Numbers 9:7” remedy. Anti-vaxxers get nothing, and the rest of us receive a vaccine.

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    1. Maybe that had to embrace the blood thing and then own it just to bolster the pagan membership. Just be glad Christians today only add a little rock music and charismatic preachers to keep the flame alive.

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  6. Some prophet from the US of A has declared covid19 illegal- I think she thinks it’s an immigrant- & that will be out of the US anytime now. Prayer warriors are busy addressing the problem

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  7. A proven successful home-grown remedy: a good Christian door-to-door deterrent is to put a Buddha statue in the front window. My upstairs tenant assures me it works like a charm. You don’t have to be a Buddhist either, it still works. The power of symbols amongst the well-conditioned herd.

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  10. But I don’t have any lambs blood! I have a cat…

    This reminds of the how the zebra got it’s stripes thing. All you have to do is whittle some stripes on some sticks and put them where critters eat. Voila! Stripes…

    I wonder why Myhbusters never did an episode on that?

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    1. Thou shalt not tempt the lord thy god! Why? Because then you’ll know the secret…that there is no secret.
      Mybusters should immediately burst into flames just by tempting the lord

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  12. 1st John 5:19 says the wicked one is in control. So many lies about God controlling the world leads to people believing that God is punishing or can save you from it. Unfortunately it’s not true. Ecclesiastes 9:11 says unforeseen occurrences over takes us all. No matter who we are. 🙂 the reference to the lambs blood over the door was a matter of obedience to God.

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    1. The latest biblical research is showing 1st John as a forgery. The Moses story out of Egypt has even been abandoned by the Jews. Look it up. You’re argument is referencing serious embellishments.
      You realize the exodus never happened either.

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        1. That’s pretty accurate and here’s why. Thousands of archeologists have combed the region for over a 100 years. The place name is known, Kadesh Barnea, and roughly 2.4 million Israelis who fled egypt lived there 40 years. Christian archaeologists were eager and determined to show the evidence to the world. You know what they found? Nothing. No graves (which would be a about 2million, no ruins of any kind, and not even a pottery shard to take home from a 40 years settlement the size of Houston Texas.
          The Jews are actually quite embarrassed by this and are at a loss, and the Center for biblical archeology even changed its name to Near eastern studies, or something close to that. Only in America is this even in question.
          There were no Egyptian cities made of brick, there is no pharaoh to align to the time frame, and the entire exodus is geopolitical fiction. You can look it up for yourself.

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            1. You must be joking or willfully ignorant. Of course American pulpits will never reveal this complete lack of biblical evidence.

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            3. This isn’t the Ten Commandments movie. However most of the script is taken from the Quran and other Muslim dialogue in the movie. But they were duped by there own bias as well as Jesus who taught the exodus. Oops. Must be embarrassing to fool the son of god with a fable. He should’ve known. Apparently he was there in the beginning…

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          3. Oh no… no, no, no! There is no way Yul Brynner and Charlton Heston are fakes!!! I saw the exodus… in Technicolor too! You can’t make something like that up. I even heard God, and saw the laser that cut the 10 numbers on the stone. Just because nothing but Roman numerals were written and no actual laws doesn’t mean God didn’t intend to do it, he just ran out of time in the movie.

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