My old medic partner won “CEO for the day” contest of a billion dollar company. It got me thinking, what if I could be god? What would I be, and what would I do? Well, I only have one day here every few thousand years. I can’t be everywhere and I’ve got a hundred million galaxies to take care of. I care about my creation and it would be nice to take the best care of it, so I would leave good instructions. Hiding out for no good reason would get pretty old.
The first thing to do, is have my tech guys fix the transmitter. Clear communication to everyone free with online support and a top notch customer service team. I would have a worldwide live news conference and spell out line by line without ambiguity of what was to be expected for civility and fairness and love to all people. This would take about 10 minutes. It would also eliminate the middle man (preachers) but I have something else for them. 🔥 I would not monitor everyone’s sex lives, but warning, the earth is only so big. Easy now. There’s still cause and effect and consequence. Nothing I can do about that. You know who I’m talking to!
Hour number two, food distribution to the hungry. Here goes, “Let there be food to all the hungry”. And it was good. I would end the waiting and answer the prayers that the other guy has been ignoring. I’m not a big fan of prayer anyway, so we’ll add extra support staff that you can actually see and count on, and just have a good life. No more games.
Childhood cancer, and all other cancer and disease…Gone. Poof. I am all powerful, and I don’t see a need to inflict misery on people to prove a point they don’t understand.
I would end animal cruelty and using animals for food. Then I would teach you alternative options to provide safe, heathy and delicious food without having to slaughter everything that moves. They should be able to enjoy their lives too.
I would end pollutive technologies and show you safe alternatives to even cooler stuff.
I would eliminate all taxes and healthcare would be free. I have ways to show you this is totally possible, and actually quite enjoyable. I have ways to look at things you haven’t thought of, so I’d get you up to speed.
Lastly, I would tell the catholic guys they misspelled a word. The word was “CelebRate”. With an R.
It is hard to talk about being god, without using the word “I” a lot. Is this a display of his narcissism, or is it just me?
And as for that question why do all this trouble? It’s just always been this way. I’m no different than you. “If” there was a god, why the game of hide and seek and misery? Why not just be really cool?
No hiding out and good communication? That’s not the god I know. Nice post Jim. I don’t know what I’d do if I were God. Probably reverse all of the things I hate about God and religion right now. Like you said, end hunger and suffering and also stay out of people’s bedrooms.
Then I’d make the wind sound like a fart so every time the wind blows people would say, “that’s just God farting.” For no other reason than it makes me smile. Now I can’t stop thinking of what the wind of a tornado or hurricane would sound like 🙂
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That’s funny. But different geographic versions to keep tourism booming. Lol
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Nice
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Really too Ben, why all the games? Whoever invented this current god was a crass SOB.
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Games, confusion, contradiction… It’s all pretty ridiculous. I would definitely make myself known and my words understandable to all people if I were God. I wouldn’t leave room for debate. If the evidence of something is solid, no one can refute it. Quite the contrast from the current god(s).
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His holiness, Jim the fierce!!!
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Don’t make me open up a can of whoop-ass!
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Bring it on!!!😂
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We could sure use the really cool god. The ones that are around now all seem to be Dicks, instead of Jims.
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If I was a Dick god, my full name could be HarryGroinMuscle
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Ahh, is that what yahweh translates to in southern redneck? That would not surprise me 😉
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If only…….😊
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Way back in 2013 I wrote a post on this same idea. So instead of leaving a long comment, I’ll just leave a link to it:
https://boldquestions.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/god-youre-fired/
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That was good Ubi. A lot of the same ideas. And why hide and make everyone’s life a question and miserable. Not nice to screw with people and they never know why.
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And I really like the idea of earlids!! Perfect
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Ubi for god, Jim for vice-god?
(Sorry Jim, you know I adore ya but … unicorns!)
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I am frequently outdone by Ubi. I’m used to it
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Plus it would be a good start on the right foot to have a smartgod woman god to get things going.
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“I would not monitor everyone’s sex lives”
You mean like this guy?
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Looks like I’ve been caught at it! Thanks Ron
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Actually, we all become godlike when we die.
We all stop existing.
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Never thought of it that way … very cool!
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What’s this … healthcare would be free ??? Why would we need healthcare? Hmmm? If you can’t just heal everyone at once, you ain’t much of a god. Hurrumph!
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I have to leave you to yourselves. You should be used to that.
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Excellent post.
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Skin should be photovoltaic.
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Added!
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The problem with that, to generate the most power everyone would be naked all the time. Here up in the north countries, winter would be…a bit nippy
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Well, let’s do away with winter!
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You’d make a better god than me. I’m passing my powers off. Everyone wants something!
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Muslim god for a day invented photovoltaic burkas and hijab. Takes all the fun out of it.
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