Customer Service

I had to buy another mattress. It’s always sticker shock when it comes to this overpriced foam, but I bit the bullet. We’ve bought 6 mattresses at this same store over the last 2 years since it’s the closest and usually have some good closeout models that work fine for us.

I got a follow up phone call today to thank me for the purchase and being a loyal customer. It was a voice recording from Houston, Texas. “Thank you for your recent purchase at ——. We value your business and appreciate you shopping with us”. It then went on to try to sell me more items. Really? A recording? The same message every shopper in the USA gets? Wow. Thanks.

I am used to hearing the same messages though. Enter religion. How many different messages have we heard to sell the same story? Over and over fighting battles we’ve already won, but enough uneducated new blood takes our place and buys their faith crap with conviction. If they can just word it right, maybe I’ll get it? Selling what is equivalent to any non functioning piece of equipment with a bow on it to make it look better than it is. Once you tear it apart to try and see how it works, buyers remorse kicks in. Only the buyer continues to excuse the seller. What a business model that is! Faith is selling your soul and your sensibility to a used car salesman that rocks the sales floor, but continues to sell lemons. We need a religions lemon law, with a money back guarantee when the truth is discovered.

Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

39 thoughts on “Customer Service”

      1. Life’s a; what’s the phrase? To your point, fudging, cutting corners and good enough for government work are what we get for mistaking price for value. It’s a capitalist mine field out their.

        We try to shop local. It’s not a panacea but at least I can get nose to nose with the brass and reason for improved outcomes. There are few corporations with a Nordstrom credo. Building relationships with a corporation sounds oxymoronic. It’s a buyer beware world we inhabit.

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  2. This … If they can just word it right, maybe I’ll get it perfectly sums up the Christians’ attempts at “testifying” to win “lost” souls.

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    1. If it’s a prize at all. The threat looms while you’re living, then controls you when you’re dead. Totalitarian control at its finest. What did Hitchens say? At least you can fn die and get out of N.Korea. You can’t even die your way out of this abrahamic religion

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  4. Hey Jim! Have you heard that many of the mega-churches of Prosperity Theology — e.g. the empires of Kenneth Copeland, Oral Roberts, Robert Tilton, Joel Osteen, and many many more — now have iPhone and Android apps for MORE Christian prosperity!?

    Indeed, this remarkable Properity Theology app keeps track of your “climb” to heaven and God’s favor like a thermometer (Hot, Warm, Cold) by super sophisticated divine-only algorithms. It has EVERYTHING! What’s your status on tithing, tithing reminders, church attendance, church non-attendance, how many visitors you’ve brought to church, how many you’ve converted, traffic & church parking-lot updates for your 3-5 BMWs, Mercedes, Lexus, or Audi autos, praying and what’s happening with your prayer-log requests, a Hebrew-Greek-English real-time speaking Bible and Apologist for ALL your evangelizing needs, and top-notch Tech Support Angels at the press of a button provided by God’s exclusive Telecommunications Provider! Like the voice assistant Siri or Alexa? Don’t fret, our voice-assistant is JESUS Himself! Yes, all your Christian needs right there in your hand on YOUR device — like having God with you at all times at the touch of a button or voice-question, “Oh Lord Jesus, directions please to the nearest Starbucks!” And WHAAM! Your divine wish is His command! It’s a GOD DAMN MIRACLE this app is!

    And let them all say, “Praise you God Almighty for your bounty, blessings, Son Jesus, our wealth, and Heavenly Hand-held devices with the Cross of Calvary App!” ™ $$$Amen$$$

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        1. A BIG God and a BIG Promise via a BIG Son in a BIG church is BIG BIG Business!!! The TV ad goes…

          “Let your Salvation SHOW THE WORLD via all your opulence, size of your house, church, and its parking-lot, that YOU have God’s BLING-FAVOR!”

          Hahahaha! 🤣

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  7. Here’s another funny yet puzzling thing I saw this morning. Driving behind a work-truck in the rear-window the advertising graphic read:

    The name of the company… then below that…
    “Your Christ-Centered A/C Experts – Drug & Alcohol Free Service Techs”

    HAH! I thought, what a very peculiar thing to advertise about your company and industry. 😄

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  9. I kind of like the “Money back if you’re not completely Saved” idea.
    They probably won’t go for it, though.

    You’re familiar with the people who somehow always know exactly when you have the one day you get to sleep in? And who, to prove their divinely inspired knowledge (or their operating a spy network that makes the KGB look like a Kindergarden), always show up early on that day?
    I asked them once. I can’t recall exactly what or how, and it’s possible I looked and sounded like an escapee from the fiery regions, which might be why I never got an answer. But anyways. I asked somewhat along the lines of “So, if I do this, and invest my time and money into Heavenly Saved Inc, and then I die and it turns out it didn’t work? Or that maybe the Jews or the Sikh had it right all along … do I get a do-over? Lifetime back guarantee? Where are you going? Seriously guys, would it have killed you to at least bring donuts?”

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    1. In Christianity the write it in the lambs book of life. Lamb is a symbol of Christianity. I think it really stands for lame bs, without the space or the e

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        1. Yes. Lamb is one of the symbols as they are submissive as are sheep. God knows his sheep. Blood of the lamb is referred to the sacrifice of Jesus blood. There’s more to it but a blood cult nonetheless.

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