K-Y Jelly – A Christian Model

K-Y Jelly, a product of Johnson and Johnson, developed in 1904 as a surgical lubricant, quickly found its way as a multi use product. Hollywood makeup artist use the jelly in the horror-movie industry. Special effects technicians like Stan Winston and Rob Bottin use the jelly to create a “slimy” appearance for monster puppet effects.

K-Y Jelly is also used clinically to perform prostate examinations in men and gynecological examinations in women. For prostate exams, physicians use K-Y Jelly to lubricate a finger to ease insertion into the rectum for prostate assessment. A similar process is used in the pelvic and recto-pelvic exams in women.

The product is also widely used as a sexual lubricant. It does not react with condoms or rubber-based sex toys. While K-Y has a thick consistency and a tendency to dry out during use, it can be “reactivated” by the addition of saliva or more water.

Christianity also was invented with a single purpose, but quickly induced other untoward effects and diminished cognitive abilities. Initially, faith was thought only to cause warm and fuzzy feelings, but quickly was used to penetrate six continents. Also, 80% of infected parties developed SORTS, (stupor of rational thought syndrome), where they would blindly go along with fairy tales, as well as follow their leaders to inflict misery on unsuspecting indigenous genotypes. Also noted in double blind case study 3-16, gullibility increased ten fold. Absorption ratios to PBS* increased to alarming level, where christian faithful were seventy times more likely to believe anything they were told of a supernatural, or conspiratorial nature. The Faithful tend to accept whatever they are told from specially designed pulpits, to the point where K-Y has been essential for parishioners to just bend over and take it. And while the speaker reaps his eternal reward in cash, the congregates will still have to wait postmortem to see any benefits.

* Pulpit Bull Shit


Author: jimoeba

Alternatives to big box religions and dogmas

14 thoughts on “K-Y Jelly – A Christian Model”

  1. One thing that truly shows how stupid we are is the money we donate to religious institutions. We can use the money to help those in need. God can never spend the donated money, the officials do, to develop the institution. Why spend on materials when you can spend it for people?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “For prostate exams, physicians use K-Y Jelly to lubricate a finger to ease insertion into the rectum for prostate assessment.” Damn! That reminds me, I gotta get a physical soon. At least when the doctor pokes me up the ass, it’s for health reasons. When Christians do it with their never-ending preaching, somehow, it’s not quite as much fun.

    Liked by 3 people

        1. Sloppy group hugs have never been my style either. No sane person likes continual noise. I have enough of that with my grandson here humming and talking to himself all day. Imagine that for octillion years buddy. Sleep well, cuz it starts up again at 5am.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Well every religion needs a competitor. That way division causes fear causes attendance by the one and only uncaused. Shall we vote! Pick sides? Or try a third way. I’ll ” stick it out for a vote

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: